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Midnight Guest
Contributed by
WAE
on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 02:34:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
A day. A night.
Another day.
Another night.
Soft knocking at the door.
She opens. He walks in.
The mild light of candles.
A bottle of champagne.
Some laughs.
Some whispers.
Sparks in her eyes;
lust in his.
A kiss.
She moans.
The climax.
The smell of melting wax.
The tired eyes.
The door is closed.
She is alone.
As always.
A day. A night.
Another day.
Copyright ©
WAE
... [
2005-11-28 14:34:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by FrostyFlaherty on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 02:37:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I liked it very visual. still it its still a little to simplistic. |
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 02:44:02 PM AEST
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Thanks for comments, Frosty. The laconism or simplicity, if you wish, was deliberate...
Thanks again,
Alex |
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 03:17:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmmm, I'm inclined to agree with Frosty, this is a little simplistic.
It's good how it's intended that way, but I think it's maybe a little too simple.
I must say though, I do love vague poems like this...
Anyway, good write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 03:54:18 PM AEST
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Hey Phil,
Thanks for stopping by... Long time, eh?
Well, what I can say... nothing... LOL
This one is two simple, another, I mean My precious Treasure is too wordy... LOL
Where is the golden middle?
Thanks,
Alex |
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 06:18:30 PM AEST
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This is quite well-done. Simplistic, well, hmm. A bit, maybe, though I don't think that detracts from this piece. I like the flow and word-choices.
Well done.
Andrew |
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Re: Midnight Guest
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 07:45:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hey Andrew,
Thanks for support... LOL
How you been? |
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