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Loving You.
Contributed by
lillyjane
on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 11:02:38 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I want to hold you, stroke you face ,
hold you in a warm embrace,
all the time I think of you,
imagine the things we could do.
I think of you and say your name,
but youv'e never felt the same,
you make me laugh, you make me cry,
but inside you make me die.
What is it I have to do,
to make you love me how I love you,
I would do anything you ask,
pleaseing you would be my task.
So I ask you one more time,
is there any chance you are mine,
I know the answer before you say,
but it helps me dream another day..
I sit with tears running down my face,
no one will ever take your place,
I know that I must move on,
why was loving you so very wrong..
Copyright ©
lillyjane
... [
2005-11-23 11:02:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 11:19:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very well done, this is a good poem, it has good flow and decent word useage, but if u want a truly great poem try useing some descriptive writeing and spice it up a bit.
just my 2 cents
SM |
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by shortcut on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 11:32:18 AM AEST
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Unreturned love is so incredibly painful and very well put into words by you.
Nice writing. |
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 07:48:35 PM AEST
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| Someone somewhere loves you Lillyjane, just hang on in there, anyone who can write as good as this deserves the best. xxx |
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Manda2 on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 12:26:14 PM AEST
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My goodness, anyone who loves like this should be loved back with all of someones heart.
Keep writing, you're an excellent poet. |
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by maestar on
Saturday, 10th December 2005 @ 06:55:13 AM AEST
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| wow, from the heart! its lovely |
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Re: Loving You.
(User Rating: 1 )
by True on
Saturday, 29th July 2006 @ 08:52:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think everyone has felt the pain of loving and not being loved back. But in an odd way I also pity the person loved by many for they cannot love them all and someone must be hurt, and a lot of the times it hurts the loved as well as the loving. |
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