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Between Dawn and Dusk
Contributed by
Wolf-Isa
on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 05:02:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Beneath dust covered, wooden stairs I wait for him
Curled in a ball of faded cotton flowers and dead laughter
I fear the coming of these sunlit mornings
I look up to the growing dawn's outstretched hand and crawl away
Afraid to take hold and dive in to warm waters again
"Join me," I asked of him but was not granted my request
"Join me," He asked of me but was not granted his request
So there we wept for meaningless sorrow and lack of courage
And here we sat with fingers intertwined through cobwebs and splinters
With the darkness of our lips we could only stare on at the other's eyes
My hand, cold and pale, trembled in his
Despite his warmth; I remain dead
And like ice in winter I don't melt
Everytime he tries to smile I shiver in green lumination and recoil
A delicate caress to my cheek feels like a punishing slap
So there we drempt of perfect flight between barriers of pink and blue
And here we lied on cold stone bricks in distant togetherness
With the company of visible breaths and shallow whispers we could only sleep on until the eternal gray field is born
Copyright ©
Wolf-Isa
... [
2005-11-21 17:02:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 05:24:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. I just want to read this over an over, or have it spoken to me repeatedly just to hear or see the eloquence of the words. It's like they fall from a glorious waterfall into exact and perfect place.
A beautiful poem indeed.
Love and peace,
Chelsea |
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 05:37:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A warm and big welcome to YPDC. I hope u enjoy ur time here.
A brilliant piece of poetry packed with emotional sorrow. You captivate the reader from start to finish. So eloqeuntly written. Well done on a brilliant first submission.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shnannon on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 05:47:28 PM AEST
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Awesome poem. So heartfelt and full of great imagery. I really enjoyed reading this.
Keep up the good work! |
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 05:49:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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First I want to say welcome to YPDC :D I hope you enjoy it here.
I like this, but I felt it lost it a little in the middle. It was very good, but the start and the end were better than the middle. I found it a little confusing.
Still, nice style and I love freeverse.
Good write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 06:22:56 PM AEST
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This was beautiful. It sounds as if it were a song, as if melody should have been there. Well done.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 11:58:56 PM AEST
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| Amazing write, the imagery is awesome, brought about a feeling that i was in a dream staring at this pitiful scene in front of me, Great job and welcome to YPDC!!! |
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Re: Between Dawn and Dusk
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 22nd November 2005 @ 08:03:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC, I do hope you enjoy your stay here.
I like what you've done and said with this poem. It spoke in volumes but as Phil said, you somehow get lost in the middle of the poem. But no-the-less i found this to be really really good.
Hope to see more of your poems soon.
Jane~ |
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