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i
Contributed by
lillshorty_06
on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 06:09:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
i
i wonder how you feel
feel about me
about you
about us
i
wonder how you are
is everything ok
are you well
how is your knee
is it throbbing, bleading, hurting
like me
like my heart
like my mind
because of you
you did this to me
not him her or them
you
i
i sit
i think
and i cry
because of you
because of me
because of us
i
i miss you
i miss us
i miss that
staying up late for a small chit chat
that was us
unseperable, unstopable, unbrakable
that was us
try to move on
thats wat they say
now im lost
you were my way
i
i will be ok
i will find a new way
just maybe not today
i
i wonder how you feel
feel about me
about you
about us
Copyright ©
lillshorty_06
... [
2005-11-19 18:09:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i
(User Rating: 1 )
by trini on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 06:59:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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not bad. good emotion there. I like the title. keep up the good work.
-trini |
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Re: i
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dizza_13 on
Sunday, 20th November 2005 @ 06:45:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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alright. didnt much like the title, i just dont like
the letter "i" or the word much either, infact 1
letter titles somewhat annoy me, none the
less, emotion was good we all often wonder.
diz |
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Re: i
(User Rating: 1 )
by kareless on
Sunday, 20th November 2005 @ 09:16:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I thought the poem was excellent. You wrote it for you and for them (his/her?), no one else. It was well felt/expressed and formatting was great, but I have to agree with the title comments--I didn't like it either-annoying yes. I thought I would try something new...so I read your poem, but I would have suggested that you at least have capatalized it.
All in all-great write. Enjoyed reading it!** Write it how it feels...
kareless |
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