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WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
Contributed by
butterflygirl40
on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 01:08:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Where do we go from here.
When all I can do is look at you.
You tell me goodbye .
But I do not buy your lies.
Your eyes tell me you are lying.
When you tell me goodbye.
Of all the tears I cry.Doesn't that mean enough.
I dont believe your goodbyes.
Because you have lied before.
I want a reason for the goodbyes.
When you stand before me with tears in your eyes.
Thats how I know you're lying.
I feel like dying inside .
Dont tell me goodbye If you dont mean it.
Of all the lies goodbyes and cries.
Isn't that enough of your goodbyes.
Copyright ©
butterflygirl40
... [
2005-11-18 01:08:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 01:20:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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when you read my poems .
please comment me cause I do it when
I read poems!!^_^ |
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Re: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShesAKillerQueen on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 03:05:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I agree with kay T, a tad bit repetetive, but still has great potential! Work on finding a different way of saying things...a way you dont think anyone will have ever heard before...for instance, try writing a simple sentence, and then re-writing it three or four times, in completely different words. *shrug* its always been a very useful excercise for me!
keep up the great work!
~Riin |
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Re: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 07:54:59 AM AEST
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I totally agree with Kay -T and Riin on this one. Although with a bit of alteration this poem can go a long way for you. A great job otherwise. Keep penning. You'll see improvement each time you write a new poem. I would really like u to fix this up. You've got what it takes to be a writer. Well done.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovesJester45 on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 07:05:05 PM AEST
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| very nice poem and it says even more that it was off the top of your head. As i was reading i started remebering a couple of my own experiences and it was nice. very nice |
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Re: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.
(User Rating: 1 )
by eternal_sorrows on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 11:17:50 PM AEST
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I love this poem. It read as though written fro your heart.
ES |
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