|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
The Remains Of Us
Contributed by
weepingprophet
on
Thursday, 17th November 2005 @ 06:15:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Scour the wreckage
for a life worth the effort
-of salvaging-
draw back desperately-breathless-
halted by the raw burn of my own arms
a glance downward at my own distaster
-feeble-
let us remember that i snatched the
matchbox from your hands
-selfishly thirsty for my own victory-
and i claimed this ruin
hold on, let's not so easily forget
that you had your part in this mess
-your fingers fresh with the smell of gasoline-
your grip stale on the handle of the can
--what was it we once cherished in eachother--?
certainly not this savage anger
-love has its rewards-
the ash has settled-casually-
we stare at it together
a mental snapshot-of your figure-
distant and loathing
tomorrow, i'll visit the remains
--of us--
here, this wreckage
and i will abandon all memories
of your hands in me
your breath hot with desire
but give me a day to remember
-before i erase you-
the way we were
the man i loved
vibrant and passionately bent over me
that last tender moment
before i struck the match
and we ignited a fire
to liquify every sacred promise
and every hollow regret
Copyright ©
weepingprophet
... [
2005-11-17 18:15:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by emokid on
Thursday, 17th November 2005 @ 06:40:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
well nice charred imagery. "we'll burn together to achieve immortality, but I'll die from bloodloss from your hungry mouth." so yeah keep up the good work
Ian the emokid |
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 02:35:55 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| divine |
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 09:34:01 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
...this is us, her and me...your style in this creation is raw and savage, as it should be...vivid imagery...
...one of my recent postings, Aquiesce, contains some of the same anger and savagery that this one does...it ain't a nice place to be...
ron...enigma |
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loende on
Saturday, 19th November 2005 @ 02:31:56 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is so raw that I could taste it. Fantastic. If you can feel that deep, you know you're alive. Well done, and bravo.
Be well,
Loende |
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 20th November 2005 @ 03:28:24 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Gotta love those love gone sour writes!! Always so wonderfully emotive and bitter: )
I really like the style you wrote this in, and the way you expressed yourself. Very good job.
My only beef is it's written entirely in lowercase---why?!?!?
Give your wonderful thoughts more credit next time, with proper punctuation; )
Scorp.
(Who really likes the title too) |
|
|
Re: The Remains Of Us
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetpixiegrl on
Tuesday, 29th November 2005 @ 07:32:38 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i am speachless with your poetry, i thought you were a man, now i think you are a woman? who are you ? i cannot determine which. ???? |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
