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In the Wind
Contributed by
Loende
on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 03:39:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I'm the strong one, you see
The stone tower in the storm
The one that others seek through rain
Weathered, but still standing,
So when I scream out
It's behind the walls I built
So no one knows or hears.
At the deepest part of darkness
When Faith and Hope are mist,
That is when My cry rides the wind
Then, if only for a moment
I share the grief of the moon,
Until no sound is left
But the break of morning again.
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2005-11-16 15:39:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 03:58:34 PM AEST
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interesting write i have to ask what do you mean by you are the one who we seek through the rain???
r.m.wilder |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 04:05:26 PM AEST
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WoW an absolutely awesome write. I can so much feel your pain and sadness through ur words. The flow and rhyming sensational. Well done on a very well presented and written poem.
*hugs*
sue |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 05:39:17 PM AEST
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I like this.
You have to talk to someone though, it's all very well being there for everyone else, but everyone needs someone to talk to.
I know it's a silly thing to say, but you shouldn't keep stuff bottled up.
The second stanza in this is very sad, but I love it. I love how you mention the moon in this, I can understand that, myself.
Great write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 09:31:48 PM AEST
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| i like this...well unlike other people i cant really tell u that u need to talk to people cuz im pretty anti-social...writing is my source of getting out emotions...but somtimes people do need to learn that hate isnt in everybody and that somet poeple can help you with your problems no matter what it is...good poem |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 20th November 2005 @ 12:40:27 AM AEST
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Emotive work, indeed. That metaphor in the first stanza, especially, stood out for me. Powerful and to the point, in a very poetic way. Good stuff!
Go Día g'coinne thu
Andrew |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 07:32:33 PM AEST
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interesting write i have to ask what do you mean by you are the one who we seek through the rain???
r.m.wilder
I was just reading the comment I've copied and pasted and am totally amazes that Mr.wilder doesn't get your meaning. I take it people look to you for strengh.
I think this is a great piece of work well constructed and equally well delivered.
J. |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 24th April 2006 @ 10:41:55 PM AEST
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Goodness!!! I cannot help but to sit here thinking that I need to make sure I get to your page more often. This is wonderful! I hesitate somewhat to say that I found it relatable (if only for thinking that can be so terribly cliche to do so and for having considered that it is, on a write like this, perhaps not what the author wants to hear, sometimes). It is, too, wonderfully crafted.
My favorite part, easily... is the last three lines. I rather adore that you wrote "share the grief of the moon" instead of "with the moon" - and I very much like the concluding lines. Well done!
~Snemmy |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 03:49:59 PM AEST
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I like this piece. It is abstract but still tells a detailed story. Even those of us who stand as everyone else's rock need a place to cry too. Nice job.
~Lo |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Friday, 20th October 2006 @ 08:18:07 PM AEST
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| Dawn, this is quite an excellent powm. It truly shows your strengh--and the source thereof... |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 7th December 2006 @ 11:04:53 AM AEST
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'...I share the grief of the moon...'
Ah wonderfilled write I especially like the above...
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: In the Wind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd December 2008 @ 09:55:25 AM AEST
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| short and sweet once again, great stuff. |
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