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this is my hell
Contributed by
nightwolf
on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 01:03:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
my life is in pieces
and this is my hell
my thoughts unfocused
my mind not well
to my dear mother
for you i would deny wealth
but you need to think about something
besides yourself
and to my father
i never did know you
but now i see
that i never wanted to
and to the rest of my family
i say farewell
you have scarred me emotionally
and this is my hell
Copyright ©
nightwolf
... [
2005-11-15 13:03:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: this is my hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 01:32:58 PM AEST
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...gosh, all I can say is I grew up in the same neighborhood and my understanding of early childhood development, particularly Attachment Theory, gave me a bus ticket out...I was a mess from the get-go...stealing cigarettes and stuff before I was seven...but understanding how I was programmed and why I had such a destructive pattern of behavior was such a relief...I wasn't a bad person...I wasn't any less valuable than anyone else...it made Loving my "Self" much easier and when I truely Loved my "Self," it didn't really matter what anyone else thought...if they weren't smart enough to recognize my worth, that was their problem, not mine...unfortunately, I didn't get to this point until I was fifty-three years old!%^##@#$&*%^%^@!, so on and so forth!
...catch the first bus out...
...Oh! Watch 'The Truman Show.' We are controlled by our early childhood caregivers through the Attachment Experiences they provided...as Truman was controlled by the producers...he found his door and jumped through it...I found mine and am on the other side...good luck on finding yours...it does exist...don't give up...I'm available for questions...rolson@casdk12.net...
...again...good luck...
ron...enigma |
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Re: this is my hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 01:45:44 PM AEST
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...I feel silly...I forgot to mention that I liked your style...no capitals works with your thrust, and your rhyming isn't contrived like many others...I particularly liked your slight of hand when you rhymed 'wealth' with 'yourself.' My peripheral vision saw the 'lf' coming after having read 'wealth' and I was bracing for the raggedness...and then...it flowed by very comfortably...I like unexpected cleverness like that...
...having a good, effective style is good...but the meat is what is being expressed...I use to paint...mostly watercolors...my style was impressionistic verging on photographic...I mean they were melancholly as hell...sadness and pain...loneliness...people oooed and awwwwed...the last straw was a painting of a solitary cow and a single wind harrassed worn old fruit tree smack dab in the middle of a hugely expansive, flat meadow...why they didn't sob when they saw it like I did when I finished it is why I quit painting...words are a little bit more to the point I guess...
...keep writing, and keep looking for the door...
ron...enigma |
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Re: this is my hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 06:14:42 PM AEST
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| this is a really good poem in which i can relate to...i am everything my father hates in life. to give you a clue my dad is sort of homophobic...and my mom thinks im just confused about life....then the rest of the world just doesnt understand....but this was a really goof poem..keep it up |
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Re: this is my hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 09:39:41 PM AEST
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Isnt family wonderful...............Well not all are bad, its just like ppl.! Take engimas advice, look up and get out.! Dont wait for things to come to you....go to them.! If you have a chance, go...............Most dont have that convience.! Sorry things suck..........I can say I could relate, some.had a crappy childhood.! Yet, can dwell.!
Thanks for sharing
Brew~ |
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Re: this is my hell
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 05:38:42 PM AEST
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You know it's sad. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.
A very well written piece of poetry. The rhyming and flow were great. Keep penning.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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