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Hotties
Contributed by
Jyssvw22
on
Monday, 14th November 2005 @ 09:09:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Not another girlfriend
A sleep over buddy
A wake me up for coffee nobody
Not another hottie
I have no time to train her into being somebody
I have no energy
Or willpower to show her what she means
Not another love
Not another queen
Not another jewel
A desperate fool
Not another hater
Leaves his call
A chronic **********
Gets his jollys off the wall
The imaginary equator
Separates foe from intruder
Not to know the sooner from the later
The peaceful soul
The antagonistic agitator
Not another unrealistic gesture
No more optimistic endeavors
It’s a simple plan
Nothing too clever
Not another bad ending
Stick my head in the freezer
Not another microwavable supper
Missing the touch
The humiliation I suffer
Not another word
No more banging of the hammer
Ending up in the slammer
For the crime of slander
Not another hangover
This is getting to be absurd
Not just anybody
Built up camaraderie
Trust transfused with lust
Not another lobotomy
Brain crust fried up
Time is not a luxury
Not the ideal personality
The features askew
Not another preacher
The lecture bleeds my ears
As the literature is reviewed
Conjecture with no true fears
Stop me if Im getting to be rude
I feel I am wise beyond my years
Its just thought for food
___________________________
____________________
Copyright ©
Jyssvw22
... [
2005-11-14 21:09:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 01:28:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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LOL! Ahhh...I see another crowd pleaser ; )
I certainly didn't find this to be 'rude', but I couldn't help but think "My, aren't we full of ourselves!" I personally think you're smart, but I wouldn't go so far as to say you are 'wise beyond your years...' As far as subject matter, my dear jyss, I think if you spent less time tooting your own horn, and more time getting to know what makes a 'hottie' tick, your feet would no longer be planted firmly in square one!! lol Just some friendly advice from your wise ol' friend ; )
The poem itself was good as far as emotional content, and overall flow. Some of the 'ranting' came across a tad staged though...Like you don't really even believe some of it yourself. Maybe that's just me, and I could be wrong. Anyway, nicely done, and I'm even going to boost your rating for ya. This certainly doesn't deserve a 1.33!! There you go agitating people again... ; )
Scorp.
(Untrainable hottie) : ) |
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 09:21:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Don't let her kid ya jyss...she's trainable..LOL
as for wise beyond your years...perhaps-
self centered and antagonistic..very!!
Up-ending the similies to gain flow..
personally, I think you are far to talented to be
doing that..
Though as always..I enjoyed this a lot..
Don't compromise yourself for ANYONE..EVER
a true fan here..
B
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 09:30:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Never compromise, yet...........DONT think all are the same.! Most are NOT trainable, and most dont settle, either.! You had some subtle points, yet MOST.and you noticed i said most.....Will be very offened by the rude suggestions about "hotties" Personally, Im NOT a hottie, yet I wouldnt be caught dead being fake.! *shrugs* thats just me.........Im me.......and always be,.
Good post............and keep dreaming........LOL
Brew~ |
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 06:54:49 AM AEST
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You definitely have something going on with lobotomies. It's just food for thought. Lobotomies. Yeah, uh-huh.
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 16th November 2005 @ 10:52:56 AM AEST
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*rolls eyes*
In reference to Billy's comment...Ummm...No, I'm NOT!!!!!
Scorp:P |
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Re: Hotties
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Wednesday, 14th December 2005 @ 01:51:16 PM AEST
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dude i swear my fates calling
i guess i read ths cuz of the title
but then i see this girl who seems
so nice commenting
i noticed she did on yer toher one 2
haha scorps fiesty! i believe what she
wrote here 2! lol! now i no where
i saw yer name b4. on some of her poems
i think. her sarcasm here doesnt surprise me!
She ignores all my pms. oh well i have
that way with women! sounds like uv got
issues 2 :)
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