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the beach
Contributed by
absolutspin
on
Monday, 14th November 2005 @ 06:04:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
counting chickens by the reflections
on days passed, on days missed
gutter bugs stay down in the mud
once, too soon again to forget all
that's been said.
clean memory, white and shining
i'd prefer to forget how waves crashed
as you ran up and down the sand in my head
save the moonlight for your picture perfect me
i accept that understanding falls far,
rolling down under bridges that have washed away
loss of the green hue i carry
has made the obvious red a true color
pasting pieces with homemade glue
to this house of scrapbook memories
piled high to the surface eye
replace me with layers of thicker skin
a place where you can dive right in
seeking all the truths of sunshine
burning eyes that stare
just looking for a little light of my own
inside darker deals where caves house eels
down inside this deeper abyss
silent disasters flood the shores
as those empty waves keep crashing
Copyright ©
absolutspin
... [
2005-11-14 18:04:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the beach
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th October 2006 @ 04:35:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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love it!
love the beach!
reminds me of the opening of grease (movie)
how they fall in love at the beach!
sounds like a good memory/series of memories
wish i were there...at teh beach...right now...forgettign everything that troubles me |
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Re: the beach
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Wednesday, 25th October 2006 @ 07:39:53 PM AEST
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I enjoyed your flow and use of language somewhere between lignuistic muscles flexing and strong confessional especially where you state:
...replace me with layers of thicker skin
a place where you can dive right in
seeking all the truths of sunshine
burning eyes that stare...
Here i am moved not just shifting with your metric:
...just looking for a little light of my own
inside darker deals where caves house eels
down inside this deeper abyss
silent disasters flood the shores
as those empty waves keep crashing
Your use of imagery delivers well.
Peace
Yangdantien |
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