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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	13-November 10:55:04 AEST

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Singing Sickness

Contributed by de5tructo on Sunday, 13th November 2005 @ 03:39:01 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Lungs burstin but my mouth is shut
If you count the silence Ill come out on top
Im sick of it yet Im not
But as long as Im here it wont stop

Sad because im not happy
So pity the man because theres nothing left to take
Everyday becomes more like night
It worsens with every heart you break

So my confusion sets in and my head fills
Drowning by my past sin
The same one that caused my fall
So I try to sing, I run out of air again

The numbness breaks my spirit
I send my pain below
Ill use it when Im happy someday
But once again Ive nothing to show

Turn my head because here she comes
Shaking because I dont know what to do
Somethings are meant to be forgotten
But I cant let go of you

Copyright © de5tructo ... [ 2005-11-13 03:39:01]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Singing Sickness (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 14th November 2005 @ 03:36:29 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Andrew,

Well, I like it. However, I have no constuctive criticsm because, well, I'm still trying to critique
my own stuff.

I honestly would not want to critique something where I can't offer good suggestions on how to improve something. I could say what to try to impove upon but not how to get there. Hmmmm...what I mean is I could offer a suggestion but I don't know how to convey how you would make that improvement. Gee, does that make sense? Sorry.

Anyway, it's a good poem full of emotion.

Thanks for sharing.

Take care,

Tim

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