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Admiring The View
Contributed by
Dri
on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 03:01:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
we catch bits of sleep between notes
in classes about things that could vanish
without our notice or care
here I am
so far from where you are sitting, crying
rocking the telephone
trying to wish all the bad things away
like steel bars and police cars
trying to hide how scared I am about you
here we are
in the car
laughing at ourselves
here we are in the parking lot
shirtless and freezing but
screaming at the world
under streetlights
I am the beat
I am the song
you had it right but I’m all wrong again
so far from who I am that I can’t remember
where I’ve been
standing on the steps of the cathedral
admiring the view, but no god within
these painted walls and
if I were to focus, to breathe breathe breathe
I’d pass the line where we are and slip beneath
who I am
and wind up on top again with your hand around the bar
and I wouldn’t be able to stop seeing that image in my head.
Copyright ©
Dri
... [
2005-11-04 15:01:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Admiring The View
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 03:41:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"here we are
in the car
laughing at ourselves
here we are in the parking lot
shirtless and freezing but
screaming at the world
under streetlights"
that stanza is gripping and perfect.
~shhh silence, seven pills good-bye~weepingprophet |
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Re: Admiring The View
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 12th November 2005 @ 04:03:39 PM AEST
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You are. So. Incredible.
This is one of the most . . . wrenching, vivid, pure, readagainandagainandohmygodagain poems I've ever seen from you.
I could quote so many lines-- I could try and store so much of this in my head-- I don't know; I used to memorize huge chunks of poems and speeches I loved: The Raven, Hamlet's 'to be or not to be' speech, Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, etc. etc. Just to . . . get them in my head, store them up, keep all the beautiful words within me. If that makes any sense. And now I don't, now I overflow with all the amazing poetry and quotes and stories and whatnot that I read, and sometimes I remember lines and sometimes I forget about them for ages, and that kind of scares me . . . losing all of that beauty, that is. This poem of yours, most of your poems, fall under that heading. It kinda makes you feel better about humanity and everything that's wrong with the world, when you know that people can write, and /write/-- write like this-- y'know?
Sorry, that got long and rambly and off-topic. I had to get it out, though. Thank you.
--Nora |
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