|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
I Only Asked for Water
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 07:13:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I only asked for water
I never wanted more
I didn't need a chalice
Nor kegs of wine galore
A simple drink of water
To quench a lover's thirst
But you are as the desert
And barren from the first
I only asked for bread crumbs
I didn't need a feast
I hungered for affection
And you cared in the least
A tiny little bread crumb
A morsel of desire
But you are as the desert
And burn with famine's fire
I waste away before you
A man of skin and bone
To weak to keep on hoping
And dying all alone
In desert sun I perish
I'd live if you would try
I only ask for water
While you just suck me dry
L. Carling C2005
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2005-10-30 19:13:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 07:23:57 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
oh, Larry, I was SO happy to see another post from you
finally. And then I was brought to tears with this touching
and so very sad write. If it's of any comfort, this was
brilliant in it's conception and delivery. A most creative
write. Twelve dozen roses to the man that has been
more than generous with his roses in the past.
*many hugs*
~Breezy |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 07:37:00 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Amazment in another bitter sweet write, larry.
Masterpiece as always
~Clark |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by SkillzWayAboveYours on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 08:03:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| good write |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 01:09:37 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Is it not sad when 2 people cannot share a kind of love in which both could have, and what is even sadder when one feels deeply for the other, and yet there is nothing to be returned.. the wonderful thing is, there is love, lots of it...the prayer is, waiting for a time for it to come...faith makes it so...
Raquel Leah :D
|
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 03:29:19 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Love is about sharing seems you are giving.. giving and more. That last drop of water should be quenched by two. Larry i send your roses back to you millions of them. This write brought tears to my eyes.
Perfection exquisite
Love Angelxxx |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 03:34:47 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Larry, this was breath taking. I'm with Jarred on this, its simplicity is magical to a readers eye.
Great write as always.
Jane~ |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 11:44:59 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Someone sucking you dry? It's a lovely write .. but don't let yourself get sucked dry. |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 02:29:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
beautiful Larry. Got that damn computer fixed yet??? mmmmmmmm???
who sucking you dry in desert?? Iv got water in my desert for you* smiles*
Michelle |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 03:58:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A simple drink of water
To quench a lover's thirst
But you are as the desert
And barren from the first
I came back because this poem has a haunting quality and because I live in the desert and I wanted to tell you at certain times .. it blooms and water is caught in the cactus. It's beautiful and you just have to have the right time .. Then it is sooo beautiful. So, maybe it wasn't the right time and keep waiting ... ;) |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 07:55:47 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
funny how in our deepest sorrow comes the most breathtaking words...but sometimes we need to move out of the desert or move on to a place w/ an oasis...may you find your cup filled in the future
Orchids of the rarest kind for someone who deserves the best life has to offer
Shari |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 5th November 2005 @ 01:55:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow how emotional and exquisite it just
tugged at my heartstrings. I don't know what
to say it was so beautifully put together and
yet achingly sad.
Bobo (Joel) |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by eternal_sorrows on
Sunday, 20th November 2005 @ 12:56:05 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Larry,
This is excellently written. Your words are perfectly penned. Your imagery is breathtaking. I love this write!!
ES |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 5th December 2005 @ 07:21:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hey Larry,
I liked the metaphor/analogy - the denial of emotional sustenance and sensual union being akin to starvation, the feeling of being drained in a relationship, the 'man doesn't live by bread alone' message. Powerful stuff, plainly but smoothly stated. If only we could store our emotional reserves like a camel's hump, for the lean times. As with so many of your posts, a fresh perspective of an old dilemma. |
|
|
Re: I Only Asked for Water
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th February 2006 @ 10:03:19 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Larry, all I can say is
"bar keep, Larry drinks for free tonight"
Mike |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
