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Just One Tear
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 08:18:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
Whisper to myself, I will not cry,
Try to will, my eyes to dry,
Lose myself, in just one tear,
At once so sad, and held so dear.
Grit my teeth, to stifle moan,
Pray I can last, till I'm alone,
Hold my breath, and close my mind,
Until I get the peace, I long to find.
~
Clasp my hands, to stop the shake,
Silence the racket, my heart does make,
Bite my lip, to stop the scream,
Make a wish, This is a dream.
Push away the fear, again,
Tell myself, this is not the end,
Turn to God, and pray for release,
And hope again, for this to cease.
Try so hard, to forget,
Tell myself, it's not certain yet,
Then let go of what I cannot grasp,
And hold on to hope, that this wont last.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-10-29 20:18:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 08:36:06 PM AEST
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Oh Philly, of course I saw this and had to come rushing in. I send you hugs, I send you prayers - everything but advice, since I don't know what it is about ... Your poem reflects a call for help, and I can do nothing but respond.
Sends BIG HUGS! J. |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 08:42:55 PM AEST
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| Unfortunately with great poetry it seems to come from us at the worst times. Great, great descriptive write...could feel the pain here. I wish you peace, Laura |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 09:17:07 PM AEST
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Such a sweet and caring heart Philly. This was
expressed so vividly that I raise my hand to wipe a
tear of my own. These days will away and leave
space for happier, more glorious moments to render
themselves a more prominent place in your heart
and memory. This tearful and sad poem was beautiful
in it's presentation and execution. I am always
impressed, sweet girl.
~Breezy
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 12:14:31 AM AEST
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Wow, Phil... this is hugely emotive. It's very gracefully worded, but there's a wealth of power in the words. A very different layout, but it works well with this, I think. The white space seems to suggest silence, which is evocative what with the rest of the piece.
Well done, and I hope things are all right.
Andrew |
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Re: Just One Tear
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by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 01:31:31 AM AEST
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(((((((((((((((((Phil))))))))))))))))
Ben |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 05:02:00 AM AEST
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Wow Phil, this certainly packed a punch of emotions. It's sad and yet i think you need to sort of release that feeling you had.
Powerful piece Phil. You've done well.
Jane |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 12:12:58 PM AEST
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So very sad, but so poetically beautiful. It seems to have a tone of strength and hope. I do hope everything is ok. The format of the poem is unique and quite creative.
Peace be with you, Philly
Will |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 05:15:03 PM AEST
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sorry u had a bad day and all but this is a really good poem loved how it just told your story
good job |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 30th October 2005 @ 07:38:17 PM AEST
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The power of this is breathtaking. I felt such agony in it. Excellent!
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 04:06:46 PM AEST
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Nice one, Phil... I am glad the inspiration is back to you, whatever painful it is...
Alex |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 07:18:16 PM AEST
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Oh Philly, It's such a shame that you had to have such a crappy day, but I will say I am not sorry that this came out of it!
So very heartfelt....so very you. |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 08:39:02 PM AEST
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| why is it that the worst experiances always lead to the best poems? |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shade_ on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 02:34:28 PM AEST
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Its sort of blunt and in-your-face poetry.
Your rhyming shame could have been a bit more creative. There were some parts where I think a few words needed to be changed and some where words needed to be added.
But for now I shall hold my tongue.
(I do not wish to start a brawl lol)
It is well enough. Nicely expressed. |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 02:43:27 PM AEST
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Wow philly girl your writes are so deep.
awsome job on this
love and hugs
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 04:09:28 PM AEST
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*********Turn to God, and pray for release,
I will pray as well...
RLD |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by silent on
Saturday, 5th November 2005 @ 07:55:18 PM AEST
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This one is very strong, such emotion gave me the chills. Cant say anymore apart from i hope you are ok, i couldn't write this strong without feeling it completely. Excellent job, brilliant.
Still here for you :)
Silent |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 08:07:55 AM AEST
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Bad days and depression do introduce us to our best works. I even look forward, at times, to depression, because I crave the better pieces I gain from it. Anyway, your poem was great. Sadness, ending with hope, as it should.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 06:46:39 PM AEST
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AMAZING....words fail me!
Just brilliant |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Monday, 7th November 2005 @ 06:55:41 PM AEST
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Philly,
I can wrap my mind, heart, and soul around this write. Your pain is so beautifully stated. Without venom, I wish I could find a way to express my own pain so wonderfully.
Enormous hugs for ya!
~Shannon |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 05:18:57 PM AEST
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hugs, sorry you feel down hun, a great poem tho, very deep and moving, raw and touching,
hugs
Pix xx |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 03:49:38 PM AEST
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Sorry to hear you had a horrible day. That is never good except in the fact that it did inspire such a beautiful write. Sad, this is true but you express your emotions in flawless form. I guess I'm trying to say at least one positive thing came out of that horrible day...your blessed talent was shared with us that day. Definitely an excellent write.
Thank you for sharing.
Take care,
Tim
:-) |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by LongingFor on
Monday, 21st November 2005 @ 06:18:46 PM AEST
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i love it . i feel like that sometimes
~Sasha |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Tuesday, 13th December 2005 @ 10:40:31 PM AEST
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so sad i am sorry you had such a bad day..
this was such a wonderful poem .... hope you get better soon,,, hugsssssssssssssssss |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Monday, 13th March 2006 @ 02:13:58 PM AEST
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| This poem made me cry felt like I was reading my own thoughts, so many times felt this way.(((hug))) |
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Re: Just One Tear
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 13th March 2006 @ 02:27:47 PM AEST
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There is so much truth in this poem we all try to be brave but...
why don't we just let it out?
Thanks for sharing.
J |
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