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Waning Moon
Contributed by
flamingblade
on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 01:37:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
As the moon wanes
So wanes my life
If it ends
So will the strife.
This child
With no mother
Will soon be united with her twin brother.
Copyright ©
flamingblade
... [
2005-10-29 01:37:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Waning Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elisabeth on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 01:46:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Short and to the point. Poetically speaking, this was well written, however sad though. As far as this site goes, it seems to me that the poem with catchy titles get most read. So maybe Cinderella was a Purple Elephant or Behind Blue Eyes might attract more people to read. Maybe I'm wrong, but I enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Waning Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 02:48:43 AM AEST
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Short and direct to the point. Although short you can make the reader feel your pain and suffering in so many words.
May u never see another day of sorrow.
*heartfelt hugs 4 you*
Sue |
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Re: Waning Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 03:44:08 AM AEST
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| So sweet and short |
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Re: Waning Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 10:16:36 AM AEST
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Sad but well done.... Hope all goes well soon..
Jenni |
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Re: Waning Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by EsotericWsdm4 on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 11:08:31 PM AEST
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| Your poems are well done and full of emotion. However, I suggest doing some free-form writing... just write without stopping, without any rhyme or reason, and without critiquing. It's obvious that you are struggling and that poetry creates an outlet for you, which is great but poetry also contains limitations. |
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