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Signed soul sold a sign
Contributed by
desolated_denial
on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 08:35:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Do I really care
Would I bury you alive
Am I lying or am I ready to die
I felt the noise, breaking the wall
Wall to sanity is always my downfall
I never thought I would second guess
Guess you,
Guess who.
I never felt this low before
Never fell below the floor
of the times you thought of me
I wished to be
Something free.
Do I really hold you
Or am I going to cover you
I have a reason
A reason to hate you
A love that never came true
Thank you for all the gifts ...
...Gifts come with a price,
that price was my life
Give me my permission to die
Give me my permission to sin
Give me all the reasons you lied
Give me the reason I gave in ...
Copyright ©
desolated_denial
... [
2005-10-28 20:35:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Signed soul sold a sign
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 09:03:10 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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so sad - yet....still very powerful
It gives the reader this...this feeling - how do i explain it? anyway - it leaves me wondering...thinking
- Beth - |
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Re: Signed soul sold a sign
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 28th October 2005 @ 10:18:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| well im not much for anaphora or anything, but i did like a good bit of this poem. i liked your last stanza the best because of the power and the rhymes. i dont think rhymes have to be fancy, if one doesnt force them, and you didnt force them. i think if you had more of a structure, your poetry would flourish with that particular format, and there would be a more structured concept and style. i say that with looking at this, and seeing how easy it would be for you to change to a more formatted style while still using elements of free style to enhance individuality and creativity. as for your title, i hate it, but then i just hate tongue twisters, heh. |
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