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Whatever
Contributed by
Nickibabe421
on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 03:39:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
I'm sorry i'm not perfect,
and honestly no one can.
But why do you pretend to help?
and pretend to hold my hand.
Don't think I don't notice,
when you really do not care.
But all the pain you put me through,
Is almost most to much to bare.
Why do you pretend,
that you want to help me out?
Cause everytime I talk to you,
all you do is turn about.
I'm sorry that you think
I am just a burden to you.
So now this is my chance
to say **** you too!
Copyright ©
Nickibabe421
... [
2005-10-26 15:39:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Whatever
(User Rating: 1 )
by ChibiMiroku on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 04:22:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hah. Nicely done, although it is a little choppy near the end. And the word is "bear", not "bare". ^^
But good write, all the same! |
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Re: Whatever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 05:24:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I've written some poems like that too, they tend to be better because you have all that built up fustration thats just dying to escape, and it just looks so much nice on paper lol. Great write, loved it.
-Cassy |
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Re: Whatever
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 29th October 2005 @ 07:02:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well, I like this for the simple fact that rants such as this are great to release. To me, you sacrificed a tad with your wording here and there, seemingly trying to keep a good flow. While flow is always good to have, more important is expressing yourself to the fullest. I still enjoyed this, and love that ending : )
Scorp. |
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