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Wonderful World
Contributed by
RanRan
on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 08:38:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
happypoetry
|
Wonderful World
My brother got back from the war
Swearing never to go back anymore
He said little children killed
his friend
A child with a gun
what kind of world are we living in?
Yesterday Susie throws her baby in a can
Now we know
What is a thirteen year old
Doing pregnant by a grown man
How do we expect this wonderful world
to go on
when we keep destroying it
with war and scorn
If we do not stop and find a
Better way to live as one
How do we expect this wonderful world to go on.
An homeless woman begs for change
to feed her hungry child
It’s cold out side
and everyone keeps passing her by
A young boy compose a list to kill
his teasers at school
Because they make fun of him
In the class room
All of sudden on television
Ten students are dead
All by a young boy who learns to solve
problems with a gun in his hand
How do we expect this wonderful world
to go on
when we keep destroying it
with war and scorn
If we do not stop and find a
Better way to live as one
How do we expect this wonderful world to go on.
How do we expect this wonderful world
to go on
when we keep destroying it
with war and scorn
If we do not stop and find a
Better way to live as one
How do we expect this wonderful world to go on.
Peace should not be a last resort
Why do we want to destroy
This world for
Love is never weak
Especially when it comes to the lives
of you and me.
Together we can sing in harmony
of our own song
because we need this wonderful world
to continue going on.
How do we expect this wonderful world
to go on
when we keep destroying it
with war and scorn
If we do not stop and find a
Better way to live as one
How do we expect this wonderful world to go on.
Copyright ©
RanRan
... [
2005-10-25 20:38:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Wonderful World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 08:49:52 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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It's easy to say these things, it's easy to mean them, but it's not nearly as easy to do so. Some people enjoy the pain of others, some people enjoy death, the world has gone from what it was to what it is, and during that time period has become a dangerous place. In a lot of places it's not safe to walk the streets in the day, nevermind the night. It's just so much easier said then done, I'm sure no ones intentions were to turn the world into what it's become, just somewhere a long the road things started happening. I think your right though, if we could stop all the pain, all the war and suffering it would be better. But it's just not something that can happen at the drop of a hat. Amazing write, hopefully things will change.
-Cassy |
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Re: Wonderful World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 09:13:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Good message. You need to work a bit on conciseness... I think a well-worded line could serve in place of stanzas in a couple places (though, I know, writing didactic poetry concisely is tough).
Also there is some clichéd imagery here. Not so much that that's inexcusable, but it goes down better if you have some very original, surprising images as well. Not that I mean to tear this apart; it's not at all bad. Do keep it up.
Andrew
(resident critic, apparently) |
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Re: Wonderful World
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 08:21:11 AM AEST
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Love may be the key, but too many will not wield it. Too many have become too accustomed to their room, their world, to try to do anything about anyone else's. Well, mayhaps someone will have to open their door for them. Let your love shine through the keyholes of others.
Well done, take care.
David |
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