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As we dance
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 09:44:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
I almost felt you take my hand,
You tried to teach me how to dance.
It was hard to learn to trust again,
But I closed my eyes, and took a chance.
And we danced to every star,
To every suntouched morn',
The moon would light our footsteps,
Until God sent us the dawn.
And dreams would lead our movements,
In every turn and sway,
Our eyes would close, but we would twirl,
In celebration of the day.
And the music played in everything,
In birdsong, carried on the wind,
In voices heard from long ago,
In memories, within.
So the grass would be our dancefloor,
Under firefly light,
While crickets sent a melody,
To open the way for night.
And we danced to every star,
To every suntouched morn',
The moon would light our footsteps,
Until God sent us the dawn.
And I still remember your hand,
As you taught me how to dance,
You taught me how to be myself,
That day, we took a chance.
And we danced to every breath,
To every found romance,
To God who watches over us,
Here now, as we dance.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-10-24 21:44:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 10:08:07 PM AEST
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| Excellent!!! I love the imagery and the dancing and carefree fanciful kind of elements here really got me caught up with this write, it's the best thing I've read in a while. Nothing's been so heavy on imagery and so captivating, you've really got a knack for this Phil! Excellent stuff |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 10:47:13 PM AEST
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Oh Philly!!! Well worth the wait sweetie!!!! MORE than worth
it! This is truly beautiful. The poem is like a dance itself,
eversweet the flow and tempo. You draw me into it so softly.
I love your use of italics. Such a tender and gentle write,
you sweet, sweet poetess! I love this!
~Breezy |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by TeenageDirtbag on
Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 11:43:18 PM AEST
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| So descriptive...I love it! |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by craigcully on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 12:06:59 AM AEST
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Well done! The poem grabs your mind and sweeps it away... very vivid imagery. Good job.
craig |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 12:16:30 AM AEST
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Your pen danced across the page and swept me away into your world of footloose and fancy free dancing...... so sernene and a pure delight to read
hugssss
Michelle |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 05:34:40 AM AEST
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Nice write. I enjoyed that Thanks for sharing
Whisper |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXxmegsxXx on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 09:39:54 AM AEST
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| beautiful. |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamPoetess on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 10:18:23 AM AEST
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This poem gives me a delightful chill, oh dreams, wishes, love, what else is left:> well, heaven, heaven somewhere, the dream we all dream:>, let it be real, ok:>
_________________________________________
So if I wake up, and wander slowly, do not utter a word, for it is I asleep in my dreamstate, and I really do not want to wake up, until I meet, the dream of dreams:>
Meagan, writes away:> |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by GurlyTye on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 02:39:46 PM AEST
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| i can't really explain why but this brought me to tears. it is very powerfull. i havn't read much of your work but i know my dad does. i think i might start looking more closly for future posts from you |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 05:23:45 PM AEST
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Light and uplifting, yet with such deep and pleasant undertones.
Philly you have a knack of creating and portraying dreams.
This write make me feel good just to read it....sigh....wonderful.... |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 01:08:27 AM AEST
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Your 4 given lol, this is no less than your usual beautiful poetry, and probably even more human than u realize, you write of love as one who secretly knows more than she let's on about love, your warmth in this peice is in the form of very fine celestial stardust that is gently casted from the hand of angel on 2 the hearts of us all in some way.
(((((Phil)))))
Ben |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 08:29:31 AM AEST
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*Sighs*
This reminds me of a play or a romantic movie. It’s moving and it makes you sit and think, “Wow, they’re dancing really beautifully together”.
It’s moving and it made me want to see more of this fantastic play.
A good write Phil.
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 26th October 2005 @ 12:54:46 PM AEST
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Hmmm...I'll take your 'rough' work any day! This is uplifting, and beautiful PhillyGirl.
The imagery your poetic words gave, was wonderful : )
Scorp. |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 05:48:35 PM AEST
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Beautiful work. I do, I think, sense a bit of what you call roughness, though I wouldn't want that to be thought of as a negative quality. It's more something I recognize and enjoy, as somehow it reminds me of what it feels like to conquer a period of block. A little more raw words, which are excellent things.
Anyhow, before I ramble myself to death, good job, my friend. I like the style you used here, and the refrain is lovely.
Andrew |
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Re: As we dance
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 18th November 2005 @ 03:42:51 PM AEST
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Rough? Sorry, I didn't see that. Flawlessly beautiful with wonderful imagery. A lovely dance that you took us on with you.I'm surprised no one asked to cut in and ask may I have this dance? Excellently done.
Tim
:-) |
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