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Your life will be complete, if you take the time to live it

Contributed by the_story_of_the_year on Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 08:27:50 PM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry

I woke up early today. Went to the city to watch the sunrise. Went to watch the world begin. The sun is the lightswitch of our lives. I watched the suits rush to continue their clockwork lives. The train ride is so soothing, especially when you have nowhere to go like I do. I saw the faces of complete strangers, but I could already tell you everything about them. Nobody feels the way I do.

Copyright © the_story_of_the_year ... [ 2005-10-21 20:27:50]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Your life will be complete, if you take the time to live it (User Rating: 1 )
by Blaze on Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 02:12:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Odd that there aren't any comments on this yet.

I like how you connected everything in your poem: the sun, to morning, to the calm of the train ride, to the other passengers and business-people who come and go. The poem reminded me of a scene that I saw on T.V.: the aerial view of a busy highway in the morning, fast-forwarding as cars pass each other like bullets and the sun rises quickly over them. Nice imagery.

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