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The wagon began a slow journey forward.
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 09:00:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
The wagon began a slow journey forward.
Spread across the canvas, the prairies of night shifted, and glittered boldly over the desert sands.
The darkness broke the suddenness of silence, stirring the men in their sleep.
It had no sound to claim, but sound enveloped it. The men saw this and were afraid.
The men fled, but were overcome by nothing.
Nothing crushed; their bones snapped.
Nothing tore; their screams fed nothing.
Nothing slithered away, gorged by the weight of its prey.
Nothing fell back into the blackness, satisfied.
The stars came quietly, and desired nothing.
Nothing did not see. Nothing slept.
Nothing did not know desire.
The moon crept from shadow, and sought nothing.
Nothing only smiled. Nothing seeks fulfillment.
Nothing knows there is nothing else.
Understanding rose from the mountains.
The moon did not understand.
The moon left, crawling into darkness.
The stars were afraid.
The stars hid. Daylight broke their descent.
Understanding spoke. Nothing understood.
Understanding wept. Nothing understood
Understanding lived. Nothing understood.
Understanding spread and touched nothing.
Nothing understood.
Understanding angered nothing.
Nothing clawed at understandings eyes.
Nothing bit understandings sides.
Understanding held.
Understanding laughed.
Nothing grew bored.
Nothing turned away.
Understanding slept.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2005-10-17 21:00:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The wagon began a slow journey forward.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Desolated_Denial on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 09:12:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the flow. The drugged conscious of human awareness? A personal expierence, or perhaps merely an observation of a romanticized level of awareness? This poem has infinite possibilities. I love it! Very talented. I enjoy the way your poems speak without being drug down by cliche. It's very enlightening. |
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Re: The wagon began a slow journey forward.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 03:11:09 AM AEST
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Ah! Hugely interesting, this one. I like your use of metaphor. It goes deeper and employs wordplay much better than I've seen in a while. This piece is a stroke of, well, genius. I may as well say it.
Well done!
Andrew |
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Re: The wagon began a slow journey forward.
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 11:46:41 AM AEST
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I liked it...something kept me reading...it seemed to flow...poetry being a subjective and catastrophically illusive medium, the living substance of these words may have even eluded its author, you. What chance have I?
I was drawn to this repetition of "nothing." Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing...I found myself laughing at myself because so much of my fear, actually, every bit of my fear has its source in, "nothing." This knowledge doesn't keep me from senselessly giving myself over to fear. It happens all the time.
But, understanding! Ah! Understanding puts these fears to rest.
So much of our existence is, "nothing." Our fears, our hopes, even our physical bodies, which seem so doggone solid, are composed of just a speck of actual mass...neutrinos pass through the granite rock and molten magma of Earth without touching so much as a quark.
And yet,
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