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Life's a Stage
Contributed by
myfinalbreath
on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 12:58:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
The curtains open, begin Act I
The murmer if the audience wanes
The light cues on from overhead
The house lights fade away
I swallow my fears
And hold my head high
Stepping onto the stage
I look into every eye
I recite my monologue
While the audience laughs
I finish my lines
Then I'm joined by the cast
We tell our comic tale
Then take a bow while holding hands
Roses flood the stage
Every audience member stands
The theater now empty
Time for us all to leave
I bid "goodbye" to the rest of the cast
About the show, feeling quite pleased
I walk into my apartment
Then break down and start to cry
Because the person that I am on stage
Is nothing but a lie
Copyright ©
myfinalbreath
... [
2005-10-17 00:58:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 01:15:46 AM AEST
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I can so much relate to ur poem. We portray someone who we're not. May the real person inside you shine. Only then will u ever be really happy. A very well written poem I'm sure so much of us can relate too.
*heartfelt hugs*
Sue |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zee on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 01:18:43 AM AEST
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You r good at creating imagery! But I coudlnt connect fully/ understand your view! anyway.. good write
Zee |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 03:30:40 AM AEST
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Wow u had me from the first word to the last.
very good writing. U kept me captivated and then with the last sentence u had me thinking.
Any one that can write like this should take their talent and go for it.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 03:30:48 AM AEST
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Wow u had me from the first word to the last.
very good writing. U kept me captivated and then with the last sentence u had me thinking.
Any one that can write like this should take their talent and go for it.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 11:06:36 AM AEST
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I can't be kind to this cliché'd poem. It was insipid in forced rhyme, and the ending was laughably incongruous - how can any actor believe, after feeling 'pleased about the show' they've just performed in, that their professional and personal lives are mutually exclusive and thus, wholly unfulfilling to the point of tears . . ?
To edge the reader towards any kind of empathic response, you'd have to let them try and gauge this actor's mental instability through showing how the duality of acting affects their performance. I would surmise that the actor's performance would have to be less than pleasing to do this, however, to make it a believable concept in terms of 'the acting out of an existence outside of acting'. From there you could probably move onto the whys and the hows in which this actor feels they 'lie'. Thus the end of this submission would have to be the beginning of any revision. To simply run through an example performance and tack on this concept at the end is unacceptable, i'm afraid. It makes no sense.
Good luck,
N_F
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 11:44:00 AM AEST
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Nicely done. It's nice when you're on a stage where it is possible to look your audience in the eye. Existence tends to be a grand macrocosm with myriad micrososms begetting smaller and smaller microcosms. Each is a stage. For the longest time I felt like I was a child, acting, when I was around people. It was quite tiring. Your poem brought this all back. You connected.
Just recently, I learned I was using the word, 'that,' much more often than was necessary.
Your line, 'Because the person that I am on stage...' might benefit from the removal of the word, 'that.' 'Because the person I am on stage...'
My goal whenever I write a poem is to clutter the spirit and soul of the poem as little as possible. I'm always looking for ways to eliminate words.
I recently wrote a poem expressing my dissatisfaction with the 'scriptwriters' of a few of the scenes I was required to play. 'Scriptwriters' tend to be deaf.
Thanks for your poem, and, don't feel so bad. There is a better than even chance that the scene where you are crying in your apartment is less the real you than the effective performer on the other stage. I could really get going on which is the real stage. I don't think any of us will ever really know.
Thanks, again.
Blessings...
enigma |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by radstraightedge on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 05:37:47 PM AEST
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wow. i like it a lot. it's very good. nicely done.
-lexie |
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Re: Life's a Stage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 25th October 2005 @ 10:58:40 PM AEST
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| forced Rhyming.Ugh.I need to bathe. |
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