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scar

Contributed by priss on Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 09:35:44 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief



oh god, i've not been blessed
these ancient scars no longer rest
i must forego another test
my life will be as it has been
this battle i will never win
i'll forever be oppressed
these opened scars will get no rest.

no word can say what i am feeling
few know with what i'm dealing
and all these years of healing
just to be reminded of the pain
to leave another bloody stain
thoughts hanging from the ceiling
no word can say what i am feeling

my mind travels to the past
to see what will forever last
my memory remains within this cast
to what i've always known
to see what i've been shown
malicious reoccurances compounding fast
somehow knowing they will last

crying and remembering then,
the scars and wounds within
the salt that enlarged the sin
can i help but be depressed?
this can never be put to rest
to die is how to win
is this how its always been?




Copyright © priss ... [ 2005-10-15 21:35:44]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: scar (User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 09:41:15 PM AEST
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i love to read depressing poems like this because i can relate its not what has happened to us that tell us how to live but how we learn from the pain and hate from our past to become a better person
i hope that will help because i know what this poem is saying trust me i have lots of scars in my past nice poem


Re: scar (User Rating: 1 )
by wesmaun on Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 10:33:29 PM AEST
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very good i have a few painful moments in life that surface. So hope things get better. This really is a great poem though. I could tell you really put your emotions in it.


Re: scar (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 12:57:09 AM AEST
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wow this is a very powerful and sad write and yes the past does haunt us at times.. i loved the flow of this and you did a great job in expression .. keep up the writing

JENNITTUDE


Re: scar (User Rating: 1 )
by tinamarie on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 06:40:03 AM AEST
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awesomw poem and i can relate to those feelings!!!


Re: scar (User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 03:30:31 PM AEST
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Pretty powerful write here, and some of your rhymes were unique, but some seem kinda forced at times too. I love the rhyme scheme you've decided to use to convey your thoughts here too. Nicely done.




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