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Enjoy Your Stay
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 07:02:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
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Cast your shadow on my memory
you're not a friend, but a mockery
When I reached out
you spread some doubt
I still made you my priority
you made an effort, albeit briefly
I understand now why 'nobody cares'
of your shortcomings they're painfully aware
Why should you have a friend, when you aren't one?
I gave you my best...and then some
People give a damn about me, 'cause I do in return
Open your eyes to the truth; don't jealously discern
I expect trust and loyalty
you showed neither, so I set you free
I'll be the best friend you never had
you blew your chance, but don't feel bad
Wouldn't want you to go against the grain
Apology not accepted, so please---refrain!
There's one thing I do better than 'friend', it's enemy
When I twist the knife, I'll remember you; fondly
Author's note: The ending is strictly metaphorical ; )
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-10-15 19:02:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 07:37:59 PM AEST
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and there it is folks....that scorpion's sting!!! LOL
I LOVE it scorpy! Just love it! This was a tremendous
write. (Feels good to get it out, don't it?)
Yeah, I'm likin' this 'un...
~Breezy |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by djs on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 08:18:34 PM AEST
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| that was great. i loved how you were able to describe your anger and feelings so vividly and still keep the poem flowing. |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elizabeth_Dandy on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 08:43:03 PM AEST
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Oh dear Scorp. I am shaken.
Your beautiful lines echo my "Wired into the soul by God"
Oh how I identify, !
Seems you composed that for me.
Be blessed Scorp
Peace and love
Elizabeth |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 09:36:15 PM AEST
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Summary was fabtablous...........To the point, and hope the point has been taken.! No need of FAKE friends.we will have only a hand full of TRUE friends, are entire life......I have been told that.! As, i get older, i do see it.! Like what I just posted.its what that can be said, and from the heart, that makes it...........no matter what, how, or when..as long as its TRUE! Loved it
Brew~ |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamPoetess on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 12:20:56 AM AEST
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my heart blew a gasket reading this. sent blood rushing all over my body
I will try to stay on your good side
going for second helping on this. interesting poem, i enjoyed it very much
Meagan |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 01:30:34 AM AEST
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I'm so glad u got that off ya chest dearest Scorp. It truly needed to be said. You don't need to hang on ta unworthy friends like that. Get rid of that friend. You deserve friends that are true and loyal. Believe me they are rare to find, but they do exist. May ur heart never see a sad day.
*heartfelt hugs to u dear Scorp*
Sue
PS You show 'em what ya made of girl! |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 10:34:47 AM AEST
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Owch felt that sting in this write.
The saying you know who your friends are when you are the **** rings so true. A true friend will be there for you night or day.
Fabulous write
Love Angelxxx |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 10:47:55 AM AEST
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hey scorp,
excellent write, though i'm sorry that you've lost a freind (or what you thought was one, anyway). i can certainly relate to this poem.
"a friend lost was never truly a friend" ..quote by wiz...
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 02:11:49 PM AEST
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| I agree with every word as you flowed on this one. |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 02:30:16 PM AEST
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u go girl, i hear what your saying, they kick my
cat i kill there dog, nice poem scorp as well as the flow and the emotions behind it, u nail
it every time no matter what u write . . .
XTRA OO 4 U LOL.
((((((((scorp))))))))
Ben |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 03:44:05 PM AEST
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(lol nice disclaimer at the end there, very wise to point that out)
I especially liked the second to last stanza in this piece here, as while the poem itself was really centralized and to the point, that particular stanza was just so much stronger and more to the point (if that's even possible...)
I do have a bit of a discrepancy with the first stanza's finishing lines, which seem a wee bit out of place with the write. Nevertheless I enjoyed it, and it was rather harsh to the person it's dedicated to...lol, remind me to stay on your good side : )
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by jigsma on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 06:17:08 PM AEST
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| Wonderfully to the point! Sadly I can relate... Even sadder, I'll bet others can too. Excellent! |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 06:12:21 AM AEST
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Whew, Haunterriffic!!!! I'm glad the ending is "strictly metaphorical". Had me scared there for...well a minute or so!
Awesome, awesome write!!!! Wow! You never cease to amaze & impress me.
So, that's a rubber knife, correct? Heeheehee
Your F-R-I-E-N-D!!!!! :-)
TIMradier
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 12:24:01 PM AEST
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This reminds me of the best friend i had since first grade, she had acted in away where itwas like you don't know how to be a friend so why so i give you anymore of my respect and i haven't been her friend since 3 years now.. some people can only take so much..
christina
great write!! |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 07:50:47 PM AEST
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Only metaphorical, darn......I thought you really stuck it to him! :) Never-the-less this poem does an excellent job of depicting an unhealthy relationship. A firey spirit you display, in a good way! :)
Well done, Scorp
Will |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 19th October 2005 @ 01:00:54 AM AEST
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Scorp..
I can relate to that-
If only there was...a 60 hour work week..
I wouldn't have to to try to sit in front of my PC for as many hours-
I can relate for sure on this..
Thanks for this write Scorp-
*To 8 days a week*
cheers!
Truly-
B |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Friday, 11th November 2005 @ 12:17:45 PM AEST
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woah ouch!
theres that scorp sarcasm
again :O
i would seriously hate to
mince words with ya!
i think youd be one of those
people that could put sum1
2 shame very quickly if needed!!
yeah! luv that sarcarm!
wat more can i say? |
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Re: Enjoy Your Stay
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 28th July 2014 @ 11:02:16 PM AEST
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some people.... yuesh, this is excellent!
beautifully penned and expressed brilliantly,
hugs n' love nessa |
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