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Enough

Contributed by Loende on Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 07:50:23 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



Enough

How many times does a human being fall in love?
And I don’t mean fall in lust, or into an obsession or infatuation,
Scratching a vague itch.
I mean marrow deep, soul-sucking, lose your sense of up and down love.
The kind that leaves you shuddering and giddy.

Because once can’t be enough.
Can it?
Is that all that I get?
One stupid roll of the dice…
Eight
Six
SNAKE EYES!
When I didn’t even know how to pay attention to the roll?

I was just learning the steps,
Because of course, there’s no manual,
No numbered directions on how to do this or that,
Or what to expect.
No ‘do-over’, delete, cut, erase.
No help desk for when you **** it up.
What kind of a raw deal is that?

I need a place to tuck my feet in at night,
Someone who knows how I take my tea,
Why I hold my breath.
I need to be able to come home and exhale and know ,
That someone thinks that I matter.
Someone who wants me for me,
Embraceable, fallible me.
Not because I’m convenient and ‘nice’.
I read the terms and conditions
And this wasn’t in the small print.

I want to steep my soul in someone else’s
I want to have my insides poured out
Hot and aching and alive.
Because I never knew it would be that short.
I should have stored it up, canned it,
Laid in reserves for this bitter lonely winter.


Once can’t be it.
Because I’m afraid that if I can’t let go,
If I can’t jump off that cliff and have someone there to catch me,
Someone who will just know when I leap,
That I’ll cease to be.
I’ll live in black and white.
No more stereo, no sweet music
33 ½ inch vinyl, obsolete, with no needle to play me.

You can’t expect me not to crave that, you can’t.
Because now that I know how it tastes,
How it sits with you, lingers, sweet and filling and oh-so-sustaining.
You can’t really think that I can walk this alone,
I need a co-pilot, a navigator, a keeper.
I was Wonder Woman.
I could fly.
So once just can’t be enough.




Copyright © Loende ... [ 2005-10-14 07:50:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Enough (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 07:57:51 AM AEST
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I hear ya. Good write.
huggs,
emy


Re: Enough (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 09:29:27 AM AEST
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Once shouldn't be enough, if it let go. Life is too short to live without love, or cherry pie.
Take care.
David


Re: Enough (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 06:17:21 AM AEST
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It grips one by the throat, it truly does. I don't see how anyone could not be moved by this.

beannaicht Dé ort

Andrew


Re: Enough (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Tuesday, 15th November 2005 @ 06:14:44 PM AEST
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Wow.. I held my breath through the whole of that.

Now, THAT is what Love is all about. You have some awesome lines in this, I agree with what BlueGusto said about that one line, but I also love this:

I want to steep my soul in someone else’s
I want to have my insides poured out
Hot and aching and alive.
Because I never knew it would be that short.
I should have stored it up, canned it,
Laid in reserves for this bitter lonely winter.


I just really really adore those few lines.

A great write,
*hugs*
Phil xxx





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