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Rollercoaster
Contributed by
lanabear
on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 05:56:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
|
Rollercoaster
You once told me this has all been one crazy rollercoaster ride
But that at some point the tracks have to stop
And you crash
We crashed
We are both lying amid the wreckage of everything we had
Of everything we wanted
We are not hurt
No visible cuts or broken bones
Wait
At the back of my tongue
I start to taste metallic
It spreads slowly and invades my entire mouth
Blood is trickling from my throat
Internal bleeding
Not from a vein, from the heart itself
My heart beat is irregular
It must have broken on the impact of our fall from happiness
I try to swallow it
I don’t choke, but I can’t breathe properly either
Soon I can’t breathe at all
My vision starts to blur
The world around me; your body laying next to mine
Turns crimson
Slowly
My eyes fill with blood
Soon they spill over
Drops which for all the world sees as my life’s elixir
Feels like tears
But they glide down the side of my nose
Pool at my nostrils
I can taste
I can see
I can feel
And now I can smell it
I still don’t breathe
Am I dead?
Who’s to say that when we stop breathing forever we are dead?
This, right now feels like death
Maybe they have it wrong
Maybe life is death
And death is our freedom from living
I wish I could breathe
Copyright ©
lanabear
... [
2005-10-13 17:56:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by jheng on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 05:59:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| it is a lovely poem. its nice remembering old times |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by absolutspin on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:06:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| really good.... |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:16:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| That's an interesting concept. I like the originality in this poem. |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by Minus_Blindfold on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 06:36:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| yes...i understand everything. Personally, i like to read really deep poems but I like this one for some reason. Keep it up! |
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dark_and_Cold on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 08:28:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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When I started reading this, I thought it was going to be another generic "love is a rollercoaster ride" poem...but it was quite different. Nicely done :)
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Re: Rollercoaster
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sae on
Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 02:03:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow, very good. Not much more to say, I just really like how you wrote this! |
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