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Nothing with a pretty name
Contributed by
Desolated_Denial
on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 12:41:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Feel me, as the numbness takes over
Sickly sweet with a pale cast
Cold heart inside of a freezing hand
There's nothing else worth staying for
I had it, in my mind
All planned out and my life was set
Then it died, the moment I woke up
And i'm back to where you said I would be
24 hours behind the clock that
Doesn't exist because I don't want it to
I am just a shadow of a shadow
That shadow ran away
False presets make me smile
The smile that you faded away
Teeth cracked when I went to speak up
And I just faded away
Standing in a corner
Facing an invisble wall
Watch as the soul runs for sweet life
To salvation of the rotting dirt
Lay me down so I don't have to face you
Listen closely as my ears fall off
My tale is a tail of retail
That was sold to sell my soul away
No sense is just what you need
To understand the misery in feet
Used and torn to take you to and from
Grave to grave of your mother's charms
And you know it
Because I said it
All alone and then you had it
Time to go with the world that held it
Held the dirt for the world to have ...
Copyright ©
Desolated_Denial
... [
2005-10-12 12:41:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nothing with a pretty name
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 01:47:24 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Dear D_D, I didn't quite understand what is abstract in your poem... Random thoughts and images, stream of your conscious, but what's the point?
Alex |
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Re: Nothing with a pretty name
(User Rating: 1 )
by ElevenToedSloth on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 01:50:50 PM AEST
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Don't listen to that.
That's what abstract is about.
I like it, kudos =) |
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Re: Nothing with a pretty name
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 03:11:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
very unique and well written...
i loved your use of word play in the majority
of the lines...but i especially liked the
symbolism in the stanza:
No sense is just what you need
to understand the misery in feet
used and torn to take you to and from
grave to grave of your mother's charms
i'm not exactly sure of it's exact meaning...
a mother's influence on character maybe?
nonetheless it's very clever
keep writing!!
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