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I Can Still See The Moon
Contributed by
wizard
on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 01:24:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
As I lay in the meadow gazing at the moon, its nocturnal glow slightly faded by the midnight smoke. The silhouette of the trees and hills, beautiful in their blackness. The rustling of the leaves sound like a crackling fire, somehow I knew I'd soon be dead.
I watched the winged beasts circling overhead, I knew they were watching me...waiting.
The morning dew already beginning to accumulate on the grass, the soil below it growing colder with each breath. Howling wind seems to want to communicate with me...I wish I had known what it was trying to tell me.
The soil around me came alive, slowly at first, I was sure I'd have time to run but didn't try. It grabbed me and pulled me in, dragging me to my death. Blood spilling as my flesh is torn. The cold stench of the soil, acrid from the decomposing bodies of those who came before me. It got worse the further down I went.
Soon the cold silence was replaced by faint high pitched screams and bitter laughter, then again I heard a fire's crackle but this time I knew it wasn't the leaves. I was visited by a demon with leathered black skin and ruby eyes; he said no words though his message was clear. He'd let me return if I'd do his work - killing and maiming - to bring him more souls. He knew my answer though I remained silent.
Slowly I began rising, back through the putrid soil, rotted with evil. Surrounded by darkness and earth, I now lie beneath the meadow as a reef - a dwelling for all living things below the earth to occupy. I can still hear the laughter and screams from below, and the fires crackle. I pretend that the crackle is the trees' rustling leaves.
Though I'm buried in this morbid eternity, I feel that I've won...for when I look up, I can still see the moon.
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2005-10-12 01:24:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 02:02:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I think I remember this one! In fact, I know I do! The timing of this is great. It could be a spooky halloween story : )
I know it has a deeper message to it, but the kids would enjoy it just the same. I'm sure I've said this before, but your attention to detail is an art.
You take imagery to another level. This is a darkly good read, and I enjoyed it...again!
Scorp. |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 07:50:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well what can I add on to what Scorp has already written. The imagery u cast into the readers head is absolutely sensational. The style of this poem is different to ur usual ones. I like it. Cleverly crafted as always. Well done Wiz. keep 'em coming.
*hugs*
Sue |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 02:09:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great re-post bro..
I loved it to begin with..
and I love it now..
B |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 11:01:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Still love it the 2nd time around!!
Jenni |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 12:16:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow this is great i love it. |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 06:38:58 AM AEST
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Very thought provoking, interesting write.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: I Can Still See The Moon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 11th February 2006 @ 12:35:25 PM AEST
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Though this piece is, by far, a very definite dark write, that last bit . . .
" I feel that I've won . . . for when I look up, I can still see the moon."
that line alone is dripping with hopefulness. You amaze me,
always. For someone who has been through so much, you
carry with you a refreshing and most splendidly positive
ideal. That, dearest, is beautiful. One of the most completely
beautiful things on this earth.
Oh yeah ... and the read was great !! lol Scorp is right. You
have a gift for detailed description. Incredible. I could picture
everything . . . (not that I wanted to picture some of it though . . .lol)
Great write, Paul !
~Breezy |
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