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Something
Contributed by
zalzool
on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 10:40:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
We had something
To you it might have been just a fling
To me it felt like I wanted to burst out and sing
I think to my self what was it all about
You said you loved me but that I doubt
Day after day
I wonder if it was all play
I wonder if you were ever happy
To you was it all just crappy ?
I wonder if I did something wrong
Was it because you chose our song ?
Or was it because it was just too long ?
I know it wasn’t because of me
That you could just get up and go flee
Ill always wonder what happened that day
You might think you just put this all on delay
But trust me after this day
You will never even hear me say
Good day
Copyright ©
zalzool
... [
2005-10-11 22:40:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Something
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 12:00:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Your poem reminded me of a song;
"You look for me to be yours
You want my love, but your on the road
don't you remember me any more"
Quote from "Superstar until you come back" by The Carpenters |
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Re: Something
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 10:55:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice, i think it's very well written. the rhyme was kept simple so the feelings can shine brighter and the ending was very bittersweet.
keep up the fine writing |
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Re: Something
(User Rating: 1 )
by Without_Hope on
Wednesday, 30th November 2005 @ 02:23:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think this is my favorite of your poems so far. . . Good job. |
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