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Plaything
Contributed by
Dark_And_Cold
on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 10:11:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
“Let’s get one thing straight…”
Don’t you try to play me, I’m not your little game
Don’t think guilt can sway me, You know I feel no shame
Don’t say you need me, You only need my stable mind
Don’t think you can read me, You’re the one who’s blind
Don’t think you can persuade me, you know my mind is steel
Don’t think you ever played me, You know that I don’t feel
Don’t ever try to bleed me, ice flows through my veins
Don’t ever say you freed me, you decked my heart with chains
Don’t you ever cry to me, tears shatter on my skin
You say you never lie to me, But I hear you lie again
Don’t you try and break me, I’m not made of glass
Don’t think tears can shake me, my heart is made of brass
“You’re the child here….Remember that…”
Don’t think I want to kiss you, I’d rather see you dead
Don’t think I’ll ever miss you, When all I’ve done is bled
Don’t ever say I need you, I’d rather be alone
Don’t say that I mislead you, you do that on your own
Don’t think that I love you, We never felt the same
Don’t think I’m not above you, You’re not fit to say my name
Don’t think I ever trusted, It was never really true
Don’t think I’m not disgusted, Don’t think I think of you
Don’t think I’ll still caress you, to your body I’m no slave
Don’t think I don’t possess you, though you’re not the one I crave
Don’t think that I can’t read you, You know I know your kind
Don’t think that I’ll believe you, I can see into your mind
“I’m the one in control…Remember that…”
Don’t think you can blind me, my vision is crystal clear
Don’t think you’ll ever find me, I was never really here
Don’t say that I’m to blame, You’re the one who lit the fuse
Don’t say it’s a shame, cause there was nothing here to lose
Don’t you try to play me, you stupid little girl
If you ever try to play me, I’ll tear apart your world
Never try to play me, I’m not some little boy
Don’t think you can play me, You’re my favorite toy
Copyright ©
Dark_And_Cold
... [
2005-10-11 22:11:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 12:34:46 AM AEST
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WoW I'm utterely speechless. What anger and resentment you have towards this girl. I can feel your anger and pain through every single word. So sorry you feel this way. I hope things work out 4 you.
*hugs*
Sue |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 01:53:10 AM AEST
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woa and woa
Its good to write all this down.
so much emotions |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by mjh0813 on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 09:52:04 AM AEST
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WOW i loved this!! it was awesome.
keep writing i look forward to reading more!!
peace and love
meghann hubeny |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 11:37:13 AM AEST
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| WOW...this was one hec of a write. Very well done. Your expression of your anger just lost me in its' moment. Your a strong brother, I say right on man. Peace to you. Laura |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by ChibiMiroku on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 10:52:50 PM AEST
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Wow...That was intense. Lots of emotion packed into one poem, and yet, it still read smoothly.
Great write! |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 02:11:09 PM AEST
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| Your words are sharp in this poem, I actually like that. Your stanzas almost read perfectly. I can see this as a song. |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Thursday, 13th October 2005 @ 09:57:58 PM AEST
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Hmmmmmmm.........................................Strong, deep and yet.......well. she knows I suppose.! You cant play...........and you will never get played!
Brew~ |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by djs on
Friday, 14th October 2005 @ 12:24:02 PM AEST
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| you are an extremely talented poet. i connect with your pain and anger, this poem is fantastic. |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinfullilmissmuppet on
Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 09:18:35 PM AEST
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Hey you,
Thanks for your comment
I love your poetry
Thats like exactly what i want to portray in mine only from a female perspective well probably not exactly but similar!!!!
I just luv the themes thru it!!
Mmm will keep an eye open for more of ur stuff
Lol woot this is my second ever comment feel proud!!
Emz |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamPoetess on
Friday, 21st October 2005 @ 10:58:54 PM AEST
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Woo Hoo, tell it like it is, this is a mouthful, and then some, reads well, so much I was race reading, was very interestedto see more of what you were sharing, title says a lot:>
__________________________________________
"Wake me up only if it is true, otherwise, allow me to stay in my dream, says Meagan!" |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd October 2005 @ 12:23:11 PM AEST
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It is funny how in relationships, one person tends to be the more dominante person - a power struggle. And then there are those that just wish to control, and possess another. I get that, so we don't mess with you or play games lol. I've been in relationships like that, great write, very honest and emotion filled. Enjoyed reading it.
-Cassy |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 10:34:46 PM AEST
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extreamly long and extreamly repetitive...neither go well with eachother, and i cant say i really liked much of this poem.
~Clark |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 06:23:49 PM AEST
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either I dated this chick or there are too many of them out there.
I feel this one. |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by memories_mist on
Thursday, 3rd November 2005 @ 12:24:49 PM AEST
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| I dont know that I can add anything that hasn't been said already. A great talent, excellently expressed. Thank you for sharing. |
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 4th November 2005 @ 08:44:02 PM AEST
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Love this.
Honest-filled and (almost cruelly) sharp, this got to me.
The cold emotion portrayed here is evident, along with the feelings that surround a broken relationship.
Rhyme and rhythm? Brilliant.
Pace was great… Archie mentioned him seeing this as a song,
and well – I even see it as something a drummer could easily drum out.
2/4 time (key signature), if I want to get picky, lol :p
Anywho, as for Clark’s comment, I can see where he’s coming from, to an extent.
I think, if this were shorter and more contained, I would’ve enjoyed it just that bit more.
Brevity can be awesome, if used correctly.
Overall, this is definitely a credible piece, and I commend you for it.
Keep writing ;)
~KayT
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Re: Plaything
(User Rating: 1 )
by Misunderstood_gurl on
Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 09:49:13 PM AEST
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i really liked this poem! i loved the last line.
Don’t think you can play me, You’re my favorite toy
i love the way it ryhmed. It flowed great. keep up the great writes!
-Jessie |
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