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October, twice
Contributed by
Dri
on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 06:32:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
this bed is just a place
these sheets, just someone else’s
protection,
lended
she doesn’t know you
love oranges
her husband hasn’t said a
word since
communication is frivolity
the sun doesn’t realize it’s still
night and
these windows aren’t yours
to press your forehead
to and admire
beauty
there is a picture of a boy and you
stuck on a door
that leads to
no place
the only thing you own
is the look on his face
it’s all you can claim
as yours
Copyright ©
Dri
... [
2005-10-11 18:32:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: October, twice
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 06:38:21 PM AEST
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well constructed a sense a hidden message to it
Michelle |
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Re: October, twice
(User Rating: 1 )
by allymp on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 07:36:22 PM AEST
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| i love the last 2 lines |
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Re: October, twice
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 09:34:24 PM AEST
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| I'm guessing here, but i think you are or were moving in with someone that had kicked you out and now you are being kicked out again. That is all i see in this poemwhich was written rather cryptically. |
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Re: October, twice
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 10:19:07 PM AEST
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this is definately a spark and a fire for my own desires, i adore this style of writing and commend you for your ability in this style.
Decoding this write is impossible, as it is with every good peice of writing. It is something close to your heart that means more to you than anyone else will ever be able to grasp.
In my limited capacity of undestanding this write I can only fairly and accurately tell you what this write said to me.
in the first few lines i picked up on-feelings
trapped, but self-inflicted confinement
when you say "she doesn't know you"
i am questioned, is this a write to a peice of yourself kept secret?
towards the end i start filling my head with notions that this peice is directed to you. that you are looking at your own metamorphosis, example-"there is a picture of a boy and you"
the boy, is symbolic of who you were and you is symbolic of who you-the writer-has become.
"stuck on a door that leads to nowhere"-perhaps i lack of control, which seems to be omnipresent throughout this write in lines such as
"these windows aren't yours"
"the only thing you own"
the end- a revelation that we, as humans, can only control ourselves.
"The only thing you own, is the look on his face"(him being the boy that you were, this is a statement of your ability to exercise control over yourself)
"it's all you can claim as yours"
resounding revelation.
i know i'm probably miles away from your meaning your reasons but this is what i got from it.
Thank you for giving me a thought provoking write to analyze
~weepingprophet |
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