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dying sharpness wreck
Contributed by
grim6669
on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 01:08:27 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
my demons driving me to die,
your hate is causing me to lie,
i love the razor it lets me bleed,
it's there to suit my every need,
i feel the poison through my veins,
i feel the feeling so i'm sane,
i feel the sharp edge on my neck,
i feel my dying sharpness wreck,
truth is but a fantacy,
that lies beyond the depths of me,
telling lies is all but truth,
the little fibs are missing proof,
i feel the poison through my veins,
i feel the feeling so i'm sane,
i feel the sharp edge on my neck,
i feel my dying sharpness wreck,
tell me do you think the same,
of fixing all these fighting games,
and if you want this all to end,
will you ever love again?
Copyright ©
grim6669
... [
2005-10-10 13:08:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: dying sharpness wreck
(User Rating: 1 )
by BEBE on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 02:19:45 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow! That was really good
GODBLESS
BEBE |
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Re: dying sharpness wreck
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 02:36:25 PM AEST
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My dear friend,
The stream of emotions is good, however you used too many cliches. Try to be original.
Best wishes,
Alex |
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Re: dying sharpness wreck
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamPoetess on
Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 02:47:00 AM AEST
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Enjoyed reading this poem, as I do all types of poetry. I liked how you linked every feeling together, it certainly is dark poetry, that is for sure. I like to read slowly to grab the emotions from poems, sort of finding the personality of the writer that way, even if it is not based on all truth, there is still the writers emotions in the piece.
_nice title to go with_
good job Amber, and thank you once again for welcoming me, introducing yourself to me on my very first day here at YPDC, you are very sweet,
signed :>
Meagan
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