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all these voices
Contributed by
grim6669
on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 12:59:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
hearing voices whisper death,
voices repeat in my head,
chanting mayhem misery,
a life that's spared forsaking me,
bleed your child from your eyes,
fill it with all i despise,
make me demon or i'll dream,
and mumble words awaking me,
hear my voice that wispers death,
my voice will repeat in my head,
chanting mayhem misery,
until the world forsakes me,
bleeding children from your eyes,
fill them with all i despise,
make me demon or i'll dream,
and mumble words awaking me,
tear me down and build me up,
stop the sounds i've had enough,
give me this and give me that,
don't want this so take it back,
bleed the children from your eyes,
fill them with all i despise,
make me demon or i'll dream,
and mumble words awaking me.
Copyright ©
grim6669
... [
2005-10-10 12:59:28] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: all these voices
(User Rating: 1 ) by WAE on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 02:18:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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As a portray of your inner world, this piece is okay...
Keep writing,
Alex |
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Re: all these voices
(User Rating: 1 ) by Dark_and_Cold on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 05:05:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like this one even more...the only thing I'd have done different is follow a regular ryhme scheme...but that's just me, I can't write anything (poetry at least) if it doesn't rhyme...I like the repetition...it gives it a creepy edge, makes me envision something whispered from behind closed eyes. |
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