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Your Sanctuary
Contributed by
gwenevere
on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 06:32:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
spiritual
|
Walk with me and hold my hand along this path of life
Heart so full of pain and your mind so full of strife
Take this truthful journey, to find you inner peace
Come with me to Sanctuary, the place of thoughts release
Barefoot on the grassy bank, you'll feel the morning dew
Taste the crystal waters, to bring you hope anew
Listen to the silence, and then your still small voice
True to your own person, you know you're given choice
Life is not for leading, it's you who should be lead
Bring back to the surface, feelings you thought dead
Ask your voice the question, what should you now do?
If you really listen, your voice will answer you
Walk with me my dearest friend through this wide open gate
Trust in the one spirit, you must not complicate
Hear now as the pure white doves call, as they fly so free
Welcoming you, heart and soul, to new found Sanctuary
Copyright ©
gwenevere
... [
2005-10-09 06:32:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Your Sanctuary
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 01:03:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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hi gwen,
i really liked this write...great flow, imagery and rhyming.
wiz |
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Re: Your Sanctuary
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 03:07:29 PM AEST
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Nice theme, nice imagery, but I felt you have tried too hard, the flow seemed quite forced.
Some lines I didnt quite understand or felt were redundant.
"Heart so full of pain and your mind so full of strife" why this assumption?
"True to your own person" (?)
"it's you who should be lead" (?)
"through this wide open gate" which this?
"Trust in the one spirit" the one:which one?
"Listen to the silence, and then your still small voice"
"If you really listen, your voice will answer you"
Although both lines are quite nice you could have avoided the repetition. |
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Re: Your Sanctuary
(User Rating: 1 )
by ArsenicMyst on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 01:14:59 PM AEST
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*
well i got it even if remote didnt
there are really no redundancies s or repetitions
in this beautiful multifaceted poem ...
when one seeks their truth's desire
one sometimes clears noise of the mind for silence
to hear the purest voice within
simple, huh?
and nicely written too
¸·:·´Arsenic
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Re: Your Sanctuary
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 06:17:44 PM AEST
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I quite agree with Arsenic on this one.
A beautifully written poem with a breath of fresh air. Ros u have outdone yourself with this one. Well done.
*hugs*
Sue |
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