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let's talk ...
Contributed by
jheng
on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 12:02:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
we used to talk for endless hours
we used to text for countless reasons
we used to see each other everyday
& be inseparable for hours to come.
but recently things have changed
we became too close for comfort,
between the knowing smiles & looks,
we became aware of something else.
do we really have to avoid each other?
or de we give in to what we feel?
what would be the right thing for us to do?
let's talk & work it out ...
Copyright ©
jheng
... [
2005-10-09 00:02:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: let's talk ...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dark_and_Cold on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 12:17:44 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Umm...this line
"we used to text for countless reasons"
COMPLETELY RUINS the entire poem. At that point, I laughed out loud, literally. It just ruined the seriousness of the poem.
To me, your poem isn't really poetry...more like self-reflection...but not really poetry...it doesn't make me feel anything and it won't mean anything emotionally to anyone but you (besides when I laughed...)
Keep trying though. |
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Re: let's talk ...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nightingale on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 04:29:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| "let's talk & work it out "- yeps, u shud.. Nice write ;) |
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