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Pain in My Heart
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 10:48:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
There is pain in my heart
It is tearing me apart
I still have my tears
Still all from last year
So then you came to me
And now I'm staring to believe
He said he was a friend
Until the very end
But I trust you more
'Cause he left me in the war
And you helped me out
And didn't let me doubt
You took over my fight
And fought through the night
Held me tight to your side
You wouldn't let me divide
Held me tight to you
And hugged me, too
I was wounded from him
But you demanded we win
You want to cure my pain
And take me out of the rain
But you also tear me apart
'Cause of my wounded heart
I still am in pain
And I'm in the rain
There is pain in my heart
It is tearing me apart
I still have my tears
Still all from last year
So then you came to me
And now I'm staring to believe
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-10-08 22:48:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain in My Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 12:57:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Love the two line-stanzas
good job-
Billy |
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Re: Pain in My Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 03:48:17 AM AEST
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Nice! Great flow going on, and your feelings are clear, and heartfelt. I love the way you flipped the lines in the second half!
That really sold the poem for me.
Great write Sprints!!
Scorp. |
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Re: Pain in My Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 09:46:52 AM AEST
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Very good writing. I could feel the emotion and that's what it's all about.
Thank you for sharing,
Take care,
Tim
:) |
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