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Aria
Contributed by
Eleventh_Sun
on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 05:43:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Left on the gallows pole
my love is as an autumn leaf set to decend
but crumbles before it hits the mud.
I watch as she dances
a pale spirit of an angel
by the river
tears trickle into the water
no longer individual
She picks black flowers for her hair
woven like a silken headdress
damp tortured aroma seems like the scent of beauty
"please let this goddess rest"
arise...Aria
disguise behind the flicker of my eyes
arise...delicate Orchid
what I have discovered is an ascension.
A gold feather on a wing of black.
Come back demoness
caress...Embrace eternal forgivness.
elevate with me
immolate with me....
within the eye of storm...the abyss...beyond oblivion
the black beneath the black
her emerald eyes still shine.
Copyright ©
Eleventh_Sun
... [
2005-10-06 17:43:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 06:15:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Lost love with an artistic abstract twist...I like this piece! Beautiful and vivid imagery laced throughout your words.
I like the style this was written in, and the feeling it gave me while I was reading. Well done!
Welcome to YPDC : )
Scorp. |
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 06:35:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well now! This is beautifully written! I like the careful, fitting word choices that make up the whole piece. You have not let the piece suffer by trying to make it fit in a pre-rendered convention, but let the words speak for themselves.
Bravo.
Andrew |
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by poisonpen00ad on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 07:40:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, this is so good I don't know what to say.
Brilliant work.
C. |
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 07:35:14 AM AEST
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Left where they hang you..wow.. watching this all.. as you wrote it, I see it again..such.. an audience comes from the eyes..deep down there... from high to low...or is it from low to high.. no matter, still watches.. watching is going on...
RL |
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 07:38:06 AM AEST
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You know, I was just thinking.. this would make a good movie.. sort of like a solo performance... this write has a goood air to it... I hear the voice..(s) well.
RL
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Re: Aria
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 07:30:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I believe I have fallen in love with this poem...
..........O.O..........
Wow. This has been the most provocative, obscure, and beautiful poem I've read today.... Your talent shines radiantly from this dark masterpiece... My friend.. I was there.... Very vivid, lustrous in color, and so enchanting... Thank you for sharing this solemn melody with us all... 'Twas a pleasure reading and commenting. You have a new friend and fan, ^_^. All my love. Forever,
Your fellow poet/friend/fan,
~*Stephy*~ ****STANDING OVATION!**** |
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