|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
diluted reality a dream for you and me
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 03:52:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
The true aspect of a diluted reality is never feeling whole
we wonder lost in suspended thought trying to reach some goal
the narcissistic view of ourselves is nothing more then godly
we worship our toys that sparkle and shine there importance such a oddity
with out todays finest fashions we society look down so
at all the people who do not wear the name brand logo
fast cars and faster women the every mans great dream
as a person who doesnt believe in material things it makes me want to scream
solidify my reality make it solid as to be found
its time to plant my feet on a stable ground
walking all my cares away is never any good
if you had a chance to help do you think you would
r.m.wilder
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2005-10-05 15:52:59] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: diluted reality a dream for you and me
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nightingale on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 04:34:40 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
U may have upset some people but u also may have upset noone. It's your thoughts and it's always good to express them. Keep it up. |
|
|
Re: diluted reality a dream for you and me
(User Rating: 1 ) by remote on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 04:38:39 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Some minor spelling mistakes
godly - is a positive thing 1. Having great reverence for God; pious 2. Divine.
"shine their importance"
"without today's"
with out todays finest fashions we society look down so
at all the people who do not wear the name brand logo
"finest fashions" and "name brand logo" was I thoght repetitive and does not deserve two lines worth of milage.
"if you had a chance to help do you think you would"
Without a question mark at the end, the sentence seems incomplete. With a question mark it seems you are questioning reader's integrity with an assumption that the answer would be 'no'. If you need help in solidifying your reality and with that question asking for reader's help than the answer would surely be yes, many would help.
The key to not being affected by materialism around is objective and conscious neutrality. It is just a way of life some people choose, it is their prerogative same as everyone else.
|
|
|
Re: diluted reality a dream for you and me
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 06:22:59 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this poem was a little hard to follow at first but i really do like it....but like what was said b4, these are your thought and your expressions, they describe what you think...nobody should be upset by them |
|
|
Re: diluted reality a dream for you and me
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 12:24:45 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Woooww!
Very, very deep write.
I comprenda and if others don't then so be it.
Good work my friend.
Sorry 'm so far behind.
huggs, big smiles,
emy |
|
|
|