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A Dead Dream
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 12:59:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
My soul was drunk but my mind quick,
with daggered hints of truth-
the dumb rhetoric
of the play unseen behind curtained lids...
I was sick
with stale Natty and staler dreams
that squirmed and whimpered in my tangled guts...
voices that held no sound, my face flush
and riddled simple.
An Idiotic 'Pay-Night' Bliss...
Pink Champagne mouths someone wanted to kiss...
singing men with pipes of clay
stuck grim with toothless gaps
and amber ale from taps
cascading into tilted tumblers.
Women shawled with puckered eyes
whispering blasphemies... the truth-
besides, burnt out and undreamt dreams...
undiscovered and underground seams.
We're crammed...
sweat-stuck in stall like array
as cattle on market day.
Surprisingly you came,
quite emptied of praise or blame
deep and cool..a tepid pool;
a stillness in chiffon and lace.
I paused in a mad, inner dialogue of stifled eloquence
remotely refined and out of existence.
So voices crackled on,
static in the air
a back-room, bar-room raucous...loud and inhuman cadences.
Falling through the highest cloud:
drip...drop... dropping into my bruised mind-
a lair of jungle beasts, splendid and blind,
blithe and brave in their doomed dust
and useless brick-****-house warrior dust...
nothing left behind.
No quick element of lust
beyond the tempest glare,
the drooling tender obscenities,
white-knuckled and reaching fingers...
gnarled claws and the like;
a dream that has already died,
so far beyond my stunted life
and with nobody else to care.
Billy
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2005-10-05 00:59:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Davinah on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 02:24:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very nice poem! I very much enjoyed it. |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 12:35:39 PM AEST
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brilliant once again Billy. You write from your very core and it captivates me. Each word spinning a tale coming from a very talented pen. You keep writing dear friend Ill keep reading.
Michelle |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 01:07:20 PM AEST
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| Bar room indeed , this whole piece has that certain feel to it...of old lace, barrooms and wood...a unique perspective!! |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 03:17:54 PM AEST
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That ending really is tragic...it gave me chills. Wow. Do I even bother to mention the spectacular imagery your descriptive words gave the reader??
There I go, stating the obvious : )
This poem is kind of veiled in meaning, but the anguish was fully felt, and it was a great read.
Scorp. |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostrelic on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 05:43:10 PM AEST
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cool write very indept
r./m.wilder |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 06:08:19 PM AEST
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The last verse, says.and said.......it all.! You asked me to ponder on such, now you ponder on THE own words, of a great penned, write.! Depth and soulness, that could reach and feel.! Very finding, write. Lateness, is always better than never.....! Not for all?!
Brew~ |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Friday, 7th October 2005 @ 09:31:08 AM AEST
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| This sounds like an eventful night out. The way you describe it leaves so much to the imagination while at the same time adds so much to the mood. Great Job. |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 12:49:01 AM AEST
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I got to the end of this, Billy... and was left thinking --- I must do better. Damn - simply put, you are incredibly talented. Your work helps me to see how my is lacking and inspires me to try harder.
I'm a huge fan, Billy --- you do it (poetry, pain, thought, desire, expression, need... all of it) justice, my friend.
Again - still - ever more - impressed,
~Snemmy |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 8th October 2005 @ 02:25:30 AM AEST
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| woa so tragic and deep. |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 09:36:11 PM AEST
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nice write bro,
each line was full of imagery yet so few words were used...great poem.
wiz |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 05:46:13 PM AEST
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Billy the imagery you cast into the readers head is absolutely sensational. You have such a way with words. Time and time again you can always produce a write to captivate ur reader from start to finish. I know I sound like I'm repeating myself, but boy u are truly talented. With each and every write of urs I get drawn in deeper. Such magical essence protrudes from ur pen Billy. You write from the heart. A brilliant write with such a sad ending.
Much love from ur devoted fan,
*sue* |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 15th October 2005 @ 02:27:58 AM AEST
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| This is good. You speak of life in a way that shows you have expirienced much. |
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Re: A Dead Dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 1st January 2007 @ 06:38:25 PM AEST
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darling billy ..
there is much grief admist the mad hectic words
bleeding from your pen. A loss ..
the last stanza seems like a thought that was
burning a hole through your soul during the entire
(evening), episode.
compassion and assurance is yours love~
whatever it takes
~Breezy
♥ XO |
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