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Nothing but a content bullet
Contributed by
Desolated_Denial
on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 01:35:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Cold bullet hole, sing me a song
Straight through the heart, only too long
As my mind singes into you
Everything is watered ... down.
Take the wake up as a sleeping pill
Stop the beeping, please somebody will
In the well, jostling for your god
I found god, he's in a pill, for my will tonight
Maggot infested crosses burn your mind
Flaming ice cools your burning time
Talk to me through the echoing halls
Everything is watered ... down
Take the wake up as a sleeping pill
Beep beep beep, make the statue still
In the heart, of the youthful dirt
I found god, he's in a pill, for my will tonight.
Butterfly wounds with a sickening picture ...
Paint me up
Copyright ©
Desolated_Denial
... [
2005-10-03 01:35:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nothing but a content bullet
(User Rating: 1 )
by kerrah681 on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 02:26:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Flaming ice kills your burning time......... What a wonderful verse, I like this poem, it has me wondering though, God is your pill? I see the meaning, well what it is to me, you maybe want to 'feel' something or anything that resembles the greatness of God. Maybe you want to be able to 'feel' period. So this is why you take a pill. This is really good, I always go back and read the poems I like a couple times or ones that I am intrigued by, I will definitley be coming back to get more out of this as I go on through my days of life, I have an essay i just posted called" Inside my disease", Now its really long but I ask you to please read it, maybe you'll get something out of it......I've never asked for comments before but from you I'd like to know what you think, as I am intrigued by your work. So thanks for sharing, its an awestruck piece. |
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Re: Nothing but a content bullet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rae on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 04:00:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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i loved this one.
...god, he's in the pill...
everything in this poem tells me of living.
and hopes of dying but still wanting to live. it's like a prison outbreak. but there's only one person. |
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Re: Nothing but a content bullet
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmato on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 05:28:26 AM AEST
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| would make a pretty sweet song. I always like a consistent theme that evolves a little as the poem progresses. It ties things up nicely and sort of creates a nice little pocket for your poem to sit in. |
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