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little child

Contributed by lapse on Sunday, 2nd October 2005 @ 11:32:13 PM in AEST
Topic: anguished



will she permit me to hide
can god help her find
that i'm a two-heart man
and i hold one in my hand.


i feel almost like i'm dying.
no interest in anything except sleeping.
i am a lethargic pool of self-absorbsion.
what was that? *clap* out there.
i dont know. only my exhausted fo....

drown me, whitewash, coarse. my throat is yours,

i want it back, my eagle, bury your talons
in the jewels of my eyes and my seed.


dream between your years of bliss
and sad reality
i'm weak, but i'll let you dream in me.


still chill
locked out
where are my memories
wake me up doorman, this dream is too big.


give me a gun
with your perfume.
you'll be done.
goodbye.

*screams*

white snow
red glow
you'll find me
below.

find my creativity someone, i can't.
i have nothing to give even myself.

you had no plan
spur on your steed
leave me behind, but
can i be sad?

no.

just miserable
with sleep
silverette.


crystal ceilings
see-through feelings
you look at me, i'm below
but i can see in you.

white-hot television
even now you know they're missing
so you eat your breadcrumbs
and wait for hope to fall down again.

shut out the pink-cheeked shouts
guilt is self-consciousness
frozen in revenge
hidden in a retributionary cloak is
pain.


shadow soar
as boughs are caressed across deaths face,
she smiles and senses you finally know your place.
life was not lived in majesty and lace...
but you will be loved and honoured there,
and she always keeps her word.
beauty kisses your heart, she loves your face
"be mine" she says, "my love, my life"
"hold me, i want to hold you too"
"come to me, i've been saving for you this place."
as the rush of wind you embrace,
senses tingle with thanks for their fate,
happiness spills from your now found whole,
and night will live brightly in your soul.


steal away my seas
tumbling down silver mountains
on my steed named tide
we crest the peaks together


shatter
shiver
shudder
shave
shoot
she....


bury me down between two clay mountains
you'll find my soul, lost in the heart of their heat
cut out the stone
the one i called to me
the one i fled from in my sleep.


salizbury dreaming
parade around me
garishly peaceful, bodies moving in their own cotton waterfall
cricling around their prey, sigh and die
soft lips not sharp pain
i want your innocence to set me free..
take me with you, through the stone angels.
the only drag is what my heart doesnt feel...
would you break your ack to lift me? would you carry
my shattered peace? because i promise that
if you take me home i'll watch over you there forever.
to be so unable to sin yet able to recieve and appreciate love
what happiness to have no choice....
would that i had never been trusted with independance.
would that i gave adore.


who as it that said you should wish on a shooting star. i've made

a wish every time and every time that wish never came true. but

that was because i hadn't learnt how to ask.


light glares down on the dummy
watch him sweat.
he knows all your secrets,
but no mouth to share them with.

we all move forward,
but what happens when you stop?
hurt your walls, sinner,
he's your pig, your jesus.

night mornings, when you wake
then hide on your side of the bed,
you can only escape for so long.
skin him, your scapegoat; i'll help you spin his fleece.

dance with your father,
his floor is red, his roof is stone.
the devils in the kitchen,
home sweet home.


shallower than glass
underneath my steps
down, into the dark, or is it light,
i gave my eyes for your hunger
yet i guide myself still.

walk in front of me, its harder
to stab yourself in the back
and i've walked in front of you
for too long.


its your head.
always do your best.
why cant it be my head for you
without the risk.


heaven's laire
find me there
holy soul
seek mine
in my
prayer

underneath
the black
velvet, see our
future.
read my blood
there

shadow is
my niche
burn my sheets
the demon
hides you,
my fair

touch i
would forget
what can you
do when you reach
the start and
its not back far enough yet

i can give you
peace, for a price
if you only
had the courage
to take your pound
and taste your life.


squeeze the life out
just to feel a little


validate your strain


the first thirteen months are free
you know the way we rhythmise
synthetic prize
chordal suicide


identify a man as dead to intimacy.
like a child.
dead leading a child.
and woman knowing and seeing all.
but she accepts because this is life.


substantiate your axiom!!!
and if you cant youre nothing more than a fake hiding behind

articulate drivel.

and i convince myself this is right to compensate for my sense of

intellectual worthlessness.
your individual life knows what word should be here.


the dream of emotion.
swallowing my life the ocean
drowning in my dreams of naivety
filling my lungs with the ocean of my pain,
every sense shrieking its exhileration
wills me to bleed away
for if i had certainty
of this bliss as my grief
for giving my life....then....
no green forest
dripping with idyllic
peace, caressing my
childhood happiness, or
snow withness, its cold
numbing my thrilled
canvas face, could surpass
it, and in letting go i
would win this game called life.


use up the last,
it doesnt matter when
you can see the end,
pretend to give you choice
in something you never had.

inspiration is a demon
break your breath, we'll bring you luck
but you arent allowed to know
8 hours is a blink, take me

my mind is my hell,
dragged into dead
i wish my eyes would lie
when your mind makes more sense.


blacker than black.
blacker than a whore without regret.

look in my eyes and
see a darkness you've
never seen before.


we can only find what we choose
mother, let me be our rules

break out
you wish
yeah
the door is locked
yeah

safe tooth, watch out
bite back, bite fate
say hello to me
take me baby
and when i've left for home
dont think about me
i see the back of your head
and it looks so weak
no i can't
mother let me be our rules
hands, let me be our needs/tools

wet night, 9 days away
we would have been high
hold your course true
god is coming for you

do you know what high means, little child
sit on my shoulders and find the world.
sit on my shoulders and we'll find our way home.

captured in flight,
reach into your mind as you see with closed eyes
join you in your consciousness, i appear
the water gasps over our shoulders.
even through the falls i feel your kiss on my cheek.
name our love, eve, god it feels like its only you and me.

shatter...clear....
we soar together
show me your soul
made with your hands
follow into the cradle
of my first prism
reflect.....in me
reflect.....in me
reflect.....in me
.....with your hands

underneath me
what meaning
do bodies have
we will find
each other
in the dirt

chocolate condom
im not food for your mistakes

so eat me, eat me
its not all head
absolution, but you dont realise the cost
you haven't seen me yet

flight into flow
white hairs never show
the days fly by
star-hand, child, take me slow

do you know what high means, little child




Copyright © lapse ... [ 2005-10-02 23:32:13]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: little child (User Rating: 1 )
by anitajames on Sunday, 2nd October 2005 @ 11:35:45 PM AEST
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Hmm. I'm more than a little disturbed by this. Probably just not smart enough to see through to your true meanings, but wigged out just the same.

Ann


Re: little child (User Rating: 1 )
by kerrah681 on Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 02:10:56 AM AEST
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If you want my true opinion, I liked the poem per say, but not at all sure what each detail is even attempting to portray. I'm not saying at all that it isn't good, I'm just saying that I personally was lost trying to stay with what you were doing here. I sincerely don't mean to sound like I'm mean or anything but I think your just trying to hard to sound eccentric. Does thAT make sense? Its basically all over the place, but indeed there is some absolutely amazing thought that went into this, but it is way too hard for other people to understand, other than yourself that is. Maybe its not meant to be understood, which is fine too, but clearly you feel strongly and very passionate about this subject whatever it may be, thanks for sharing it, This is one of the longest comments I think I've ever given, so it says something about the poem, regardless of what I've said here, you definitley got me thinking.......................


Re: little child (User Rating: 1 )
by lapse on Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 03:07:19 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
hi. just for anyone who reads this. the reason it seems so over the place is because it is a collection of many many thoughts that i put in the same poem. ive tried to distinguish between them with double spaces instead of a single space (which i use to seperate stanzas). maybe that knowledge will be more helpful. and i guess it does seem eccentric, but the things that seem out of place are merely words/phrases synonymous with what im referring to. a lot of it is tied to actual events but some of it is just my mind speaking my feelings. maybe if you let your imagination wander you can find the realities in the words of actual events and also try to understand where the others may fit in your own reality. sorry if i sound a bit passe. just trying to help anyone understand that wants to.




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