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my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly

Contributed by cutestmofo on Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:45:10 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



LOVE'S JUST TOO SCREWED UP

LOVE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MESSED UP PARTY
LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER WAY TO HURT SOMEBODY
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME U BROKEN MY HEART
BUT I'VE NEVER STOP LOVIN U ALWAYS HAD FROM THE START

I JUST DON'T KNOW WAT TO DO
I WANT TO FOLLOW MY HEART BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE
I'M SEARCHIN FOR THE TRUTH BUT I CAN'T SEE IT ANYMORE
I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR SO LONG I DON'T KNO WAT I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR

I'M BROKEN I'M HURT AND U AIN'T SEEIN MY PAIN
EVEN THOUGH I WALKED THROUGH RAIN
U STILL WOULD NEVER REALLY CARE BUT I STILL LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND WAT ABOUT U

I LOVE YOU BUT I AIN'T GONNA SAY IT ANYMORE
CAUSE I DON'T SEE WAT I'M SAYIN IT FOR
YES I LOVE YOU AIN'T AFRAID TO SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD
BUT NO MATTER WAT U SAY I WON'T BELIEVE A WORD






Copyright © cutestmofo ... [ 2005-09-30 20:45:10]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:51 PM AEST
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This is worth a song quote;

"You make me want you
You make me need you
You make me tumble and fall

If I can't have you
the way i want you
then i don't want you at all

Baby I can take a lot
cause i take everything you've got
and though you kisses thrill me so
if you've found someone else
I gotta go
and that you know

That's it
I quit
I'm moving on"

There is a lot i can do to turn your poem into a song. Your 1st stanza is nearly perfect then each one falls off beat a little more. I think you wrote all this down while you were angry and hurt and it is good to write like this, I do it a lot. That is my honest opinion. Good and bad said because of it's potential I give this 5 stars.


Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly (User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:54 PM AEST
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Aww.. Beautifully written. It's composed perfectly. Great write.


Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly (User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 10:16:47 PM AEST
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aww... that's a terrific write! and what's wrong with your heart? you love someone, that's NORMAL. but great write, i really enjoyed reading it.... keep up the good work!

~sprints


Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly (User Rating: 1 )
by jheng on Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 09:31:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

yup, its true, the love we give to another person isnt always reciprocated, but still we love the person though they break our hearts ...




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