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my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
Contributed by
cutestmofo
on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:45:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
LOVE'S JUST TOO SCREWED UP
LOVE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MESSED UP PARTY
LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER WAY TO HURT SOMEBODY
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME U BROKEN MY HEART
BUT I'VE NEVER STOP LOVIN U ALWAYS HAD FROM THE START
I JUST DON'T KNOW WAT TO DO
I WANT TO FOLLOW MY HEART BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE
I'M SEARCHIN FOR THE TRUTH BUT I CAN'T SEE IT ANYMORE
I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR SO LONG I DON'T KNO WAT I'VE BEEN SEARCHIN FOR
I'M BROKEN I'M HURT AND U AIN'T SEEIN MY PAIN
EVEN THOUGH I WALKED THROUGH RAIN
U STILL WOULD NEVER REALLY CARE BUT I STILL LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND WAT ABOUT U
I LOVE YOU BUT I AIN'T GONNA SAY IT ANYMORE
CAUSE I DON'T SEE WAT I'M SAYIN IT FOR
YES I LOVE YOU AIN'T AFRAID TO SHOUT IT TO THE WORLD
BUT NO MATTER WAT U SAY I WON'T BELIEVE A WORD
Copyright ©
cutestmofo
... [
2005-09-30 20:45:10] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is worth a song quote;
"You make me want you
You make me need you
You make me tumble and fall
If I can't have you
the way i want you
then i don't want you at all
Baby I can take a lot
cause i take everything you've got
and though you kisses thrill me so
if you've found someone else
I gotta go
and that you know
That's it
I quit
I'm moving on"
There is a lot i can do to turn your poem into a song. Your 1st stanza is nearly perfect then each one falls off beat a little more. I think you wrote all this down while you were angry and hurt and it is good to write like this, I do it a lot. That is my honest opinion. Good and bad said because of it's potential I give this 5 stars. |
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Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 ) by Mild_Tempest on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 08:58:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Aww.. Beautifully written. It's composed perfectly. Great write. |
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Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 ) by sprinter27 on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 10:16:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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aww... that's a terrific write! and what's wrong with your heart? you love someone, that's NORMAL. but great write, i really enjoyed reading it.... keep up the good work!
~sprints |
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Re: my heart isn't broken it just isn't workin properly
(User Rating: 1 ) by jheng on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 09:31:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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yup, its true, the love we give to another person isnt always reciprocated, but still we love the person though they break our hearts ... |
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