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Galicia,Girl of Ocean
Contributed by
puppy_dog_eyes
on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 12:05:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Hair Jet black, splayed in the light summer breeze
Head tilted upwards, surveying the far horizons
Through eyes black coal,deep as darkest night
Scarce touching golden sand, footsteps in fine grains barely recognised
Sombre was her countenance as she stood by the waters edge
Eyes telling the tale the old harbour master often spoke of
A love to whom she was betrothed, sealed by a jewelled ring
But the strongest love had always lost to the mistress of the sea
The waves were calm now, more soft tickles than the killing knives
But her mind replayed the now clear blue to the then of darkest grey
Crashing foam on jagged rocks, venom of spitting sea
Cracking sounds of splintered wood as the fateful ship went down
Next day saw a sea appeased, but a heart forever torn
A lovers dream washed away, to the depths that lay unseen
Rocks hurled hard into the blue, attempts to rouse the beast
Screaming rage for answers in the deafness of still water
Eyes closed she stood now, at the edge of her enemies realm
In her mind still seeing him steer the course, turn westward inward bound
Perched on a rock I watched, entranced at the figure lost, forlorn
The girl they knew simply as Galicia, Girl of Ocean
Copyright ©
puppy_dog_eyes
... [
2005-09-30 12:05:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Galicia,Girl of Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 01:07:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Lovely storytelling. |
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Re: Galicia,Girl of Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 03:42:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nice attraction and sensuality. in this poem, surreal..
Wonderful visions, you penned it to me, so accepting to the reality of isolation.
The summer breeze is joyous, satifaction is portrayed there.
Washing away the dreams, going out with bits of sand, barreness...soon all the sand will be settled at the bottom of the ocean.
You drew a beautiful picture of the character...I can sense the full life she has, wants, waiting for, crashing dreams, waiting a long time.
This write gave me tranquility, feeling of inner peace. The rocks are hard, a source of strength she sits on, wondering if she will find contentment in her soul. I sense a great loss in this write, albeit beauty, my feelings overwhelmed reading it, like the depth of the emotions from the ocean.
Thank you,
Raquel Leah :D
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Re: Galicia,Girl of Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 09:44:14 AM AEST
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Great subject matter, vivid and imaginative. Good storytelling, with just enough poetic accompaniment to lift it beyond a good yarn.
The comparison of calm seas and tempest, hopeful times and grief, love and loss were well handled. I liked the way you drew out the characters of the mourning betrothed and the jealous and temperamental 'other woman', which is how many wives and girlfriends of sailors seem to view the sea.
Well done.
Spike
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Re: Galicia,Girl of Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Tuesday, 4th October 2005 @ 05:10:00 PM AEST
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Enchanting tale I loved this write.
Excellent
love Angelxxx |
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Re: Galicia,Girl of Ocean
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 5th December 2005 @ 02:07:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome write!
huggs,
emy |
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