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Faceless Stalker
Contributed by
Arwen
on
Saturday, 18th January 2003 @ 09:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I lived a year in an air-less stunted place,
following time and instruction mindlessly.
Days passed into night as my mind took a holiday. I wished for unattainable realities,
Hoped for things I never before had the chance to get,
And i reached for them undaunted...ready for failure and rejection
Yet not expecting it.
Day after day until ultimately I broke the cycle
By writing down my feelings...
With the uncontrollable need to confront
And resolve things once and for all.
But even these were rejected,
Thrown back in my face, insignificant,
meaningless, unwanted.
"if you're gonna want us as more than just friends, then we should not be friends."
Did those words really come from a human being? Was i wrong about him after all this time?
Those words cut straight to heart...
In every way that counted.
I had thought that I'd found something special, someone unknown and sacred, someone I could be utterly comfortable with,
And in one intentional stroke...
He destroyed it.
The first in years who had earned my trust completely...Only he took it
And threw, what he couldn't handle,
Back in my face.
Torment and humiliation consumed me,
what a fool I'd been...
Never again.
Never shall i follow these blasted instincts,
Not where his kind is concerned.
I will not feel.
I refuse to acknowledge them from this day forth.
For friendship is no more true then a green field of daisies in a sunny thunderstorm,
And love no more than a human measure
To retain sanity.
There's no room for hope....
It just brings anger and insanity.
And from this terrible place I wake...
Nightmarish images popping up
From time to time but well under control.
Places that we shared bringing memories,
and laughter. At night before i had to leave...
Memories unwanted...
And now I trek, strangely reluctant to the
New year. God i still wonder how the goodness turned to hate so quickly.
He pretended friendship,
Always. why? Did he get some thrill out of rejecting a friend? or was it...
My fault?
I need no-one, nothing...never ever will.
Barriers currently seem fully functional.
I refuse to feel, want, need.
No more will I enjoy the emotions that come...for they will be dependent on another human being and i have become wary of those. Incessant questions and doubts will always follow.
Don't build the door, or the memories
because time cannot unmake them.
Gather, compress and discard.
Delete all that hurt because it is indifference that will help in the end.
Only indifference.
Heart protected by steel stakes...
Embedded deeply to cause numbness,
Never more...
You are forgiven.
Copyright ©
Arwen
... [
2003-01-18 21:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eloise on
Saturday, 18th January 2003 @ 09:41:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| awesome poem... such a good write... |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Sunday, 19th January 2003 @ 10:12:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was a good write,Gods world here on Earth is for us to learn from,Thats why his world in Heaven is perfect! Here we are being TESTED!
I liked this! Christina |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arwen on
Monday, 20th January 2003 @ 01:31:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Thanx Eloise 4 reading my poem and enjoying it :) this is the first time that I've written anything...and submitted it. I guess true inspirational only comes once inna blue moon. The poem was a bit long tho' hey...? ;) *lol*! gotta go study now, byeeeee |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arwen on
Monday, 20th January 2003 @ 01:36:24 AM AEST
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| You're right Christina, I'd doubted the existance of God and the Hereafter...of heaven and everything! But experiences and these 'tests' sometimes puts everything in perspective. I appreciate the simple pleasures of life even more now. And you figure that the only way to get thro' life and the obstacles...is to have faith and never EVER give up. Hopefully ;) I'll get to Heaven someday. *lol* Thanx for reading my poem, I look forward to reading some of urs. take care. |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by HeartWhisperer on
Wednesday, 22nd January 2003 @ 04:50:32 AM AEST
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| Beind every dark cloud, the sunshine that is you always shines through.This dark cloud will pass, and warmth shall embrace you once again:-) Excellent write... |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by HeartSong on
Wednesday, 22nd January 2003 @ 05:41:26 AM AEST
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| oh Arwen..i know the world seems a dark and gloomy place right now but believe me he wasnt worth it...the one who is would never ever do that to u.Just don't give up hope... |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by tier on
Monday, 27th January 2003 @ 02:52:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i truely love that poem it spoke to me and showed me things that i had felt long ago.....ur very good with words keep up the good work... |
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Re: Faceless Stalker
(User Rating: 1 )
by xlguesswho14xx on
Saturday, 22nd March 2003 @ 11:38:43 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| the person you spoke of is not worth it, you will find the right guy but just dont give up hope...without it life would be so depressing |
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