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The One I Love
Contributed by
wizard
on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 10:25:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The one I love will always be
Perfect in her ways
She'll always be there for me
Throughout my troubled days
The time we spend - conjoined as one
Sharing one heartbeat
When she's near I've not a care,
And all my worries fleet
She'll be there for me to lend an ear
Or when I need a friend
The one I love I know for sure
Will be there to the end
To convey these things back to her
Would be a daunting feat
For this one I love remains unseen
For her I've yet to meet
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2005-09-28 22:25:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 10:30:35 PM AEST
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Hm.............seems we ALL have one who we want to meet and havent. A one to love and keep. Will we.....ever?! Such a simple and lovely write, to a one that is wanted and needed to be there to keep. in the heart, mind, and soul. Loved it!
Brew~ |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 11:57:52 PM AEST
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Ah, interesting! You've done well with the rhyme here, for it is fresh and not cliché. I like the thought behind this piece as well, and it is well-worded. Bravo!
Andrew |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 29th September 2005 @ 03:24:20 AM AEST
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| Im sure many echo your thoughts. nice rhyme scheme and twist. chris. |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 29th September 2005 @ 03:30:21 AM AEST
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I see you're making up for lost time : )
I really like the way you put this one together...describing your love of a lifetime, and how she makes you feel...and then the surprise ending...the love you've yet to meet. Very good. I enjoyed this.
Scorp.
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 06:50:02 PM AEST
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nice flow and rhymes really well.
great job.
hugs |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 11:07:36 AM AEST
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I don't know about everyone else, but you caught me off guard there at the end. The ending, truly, makes the entire piece more worthy somehow and, for whatever reason, it leaves me thinking of Dorothy Parker (witty she was, but witty, I think, for a reason).
Well crafted... and per the turn at the end, quite relatable to many, I suspect.
~Snemmy |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 22nd October 2005 @ 11:59:54 PM AEST
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Intrigued, I was by Billy's "We Are But Two". So much so, that
I ventured into your pages and I'm ever so glad I did. This
piece was priceless. Wonderful to read and such a sweet
and delightful ending. *sigh* Yes, unique and creative.
Awesome write wiz!
~Breezy
(who must read more ...) |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aquarius01 on
Saturday, 29th April 2006 @ 06:53:29 PM AEST
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| What a loving tribute to the one that you've yet to meet. I'm sure when that time comes, she'll cry tears of happiness. Just knowing that you feel this deeply for her. A most loving and hopeful write, all the best to you...Gloria E. |
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Re: The One I Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 12th June 2006 @ 02:28:41 AM AEST
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This is beautifull and she'll be one lucky lady when u do meet .
Awesome writing.
good luck.
huggs, big smiles,
emy
When u do meet her just hand her this and she'll melt. |
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