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yonge and charles
Contributed by
aernby
on
Saturday, 18th January 2003 @ 06:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I walk among the crowds on Yonge Street.
A tenor saxophone wailing in my head:
A character out of a two bit novel –
World-weary, casehardened detective
looking into the innocent, pleasure stunned
Faces of those around me, for a fellow traveller.
For one who has been there done that got the scars --
For one who bears their scars with pride.
I see none. I stalk on in the company of my past:
My failures, my screwed up affairs, my betrayals
All that has moulded , formed made me me
With out which I’d be as clueless innocent
As those who walk beside me. I stalk on–
Looking, searching, alone, content.....
Copyright ©
aernby
... [
2003-01-18 18:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by roisin on
Saturday, 18th January 2003 @ 10:54:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Dear fellow traveller..the title of your piece caught my eye... walked by yonge & charles recently..changing constantly is it not?...nice write
ta
rosie |
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Sunday, 19th January 2003 @ 02:03:31 PM AEST
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Memory lane, some good, bad, beautiful, unspoken, and some that still haunt...how beautiful aernby and to think of what could come upon that same road...of memories unyet heard of aye?...beautiful.....love this one..
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:. |
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Sunday, 19th January 2003 @ 05:42:37 PM AEST
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| This is beautiful Aernby... :) |
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by RICHARD_CAMPBELL on
Sunday, 26th January 2003 @ 01:30:55 PM AEST
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HI AERNBY,
THIS IS VERY GOOD EVERY THINK CHANGES AFTER A WHILE.
GOOD WRITE.RICHARD CAMPBELL. |
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 30th January 2003 @ 11:57:47 PM AEST
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| loved your line,"For one who has been there done that got the scars --"... very good write, memories... ahhh the stuff of memories.. my street was south street in philadelphia and any in coventry.. thank you a lot......... |
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Re: yonge and charles
(User Rating: 1 )
by banjo on
Thursday, 15th May 2003 @ 05:19:43 PM AEST
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I like the line "I stalk on in the company of my past" . Isn't it interesting how our own personal past changes the current landscape... we see different shades of everything, colored by where we've been and with whom and why... definitely a topic worthy of much writing and exploring.
What would a fellow traveller look like? What can you see in their face that distinguishes them from the "innocent, pleasure-stunned?"
Speaking of "innocent, pleasure -stunned" -- is the premise here that the not-so-innocent are dulled to the pleasure as well? Worth drawing out further perhaps...
I personally don't like the line "been there done that got the scars" even though the end is a nice twist it still sounds too much like a Mt. Dew commercial...
Question: does innocent = clueless? One antonym to innocent is experienced. A different one is guilty. Is there a difference between experience and guilt? Explore....
hmm, "content" at the end, that's a surprise. I'm left wondering, why content? alone, searching... content?
Nice work. |
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