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If only I was perfect too.
Contributed by
Lollypopxcore
on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 06:03:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
It's that shirt again
the one that got me to notice you
I went the opposite direction this time
Because I don't know what to do.
Your face always makes me happy
Although you can't say the same for me
If i could only change myself
think how different things could be...
I've tried to get you closser
I know, not what it seams
all you can see is smiles
all I can hear are screams.
my heart can quickly shatter
I can make my world a mess
I just wish that you were part of it
or even only second best.
Days go by and haunt me
I say "what if" all the time
I wish I was perfect too
Cause then maybe...you'd be mine.
Copyright ©
Lollypopxcore
... [
2005-09-28 18:03:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If only I was perfect too.
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 06:35:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Your poems reminds me of some of my older writing.
Except yours is better.
You need a bit of spelling checked, and you need to take a look at your grammer, but otherwise this is really good.
I especially like the ending.
Great write,
Phil xxx |
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Re: If only I was perfect too.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 08:30:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Your poem reminds me of a song;
"Beggars can't be choisy I know
that's what the people say
but though my heart is begging for love
I've turned some love away
Maybe one was true love
I'll never know which cause
Your love is the only love
to make this beggar rich"
From Choosey Beggar by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
You did a good job at writing this.
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