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Would You?
Contributed by
anangel_1593
on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 05:52:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
If i gave you my heart, would you kiss me?
If you stood by my grave, would you miss me?
If i were afraid, would you hold me?
Get rid of the monsters that scare me?
Would you love me and treat me like treasure?
Stand by me from now til forever?
Would you give me my wings so i can fly?
To the furthest shining star in the sky?
Would you help me see the beauty in life?
Teach me to be nice to avoid pain and strife?
Would you tell me, gently, when i'm wrong?
Would you join me when i burst into song?
Would you dry my tears every time i cried?
Would you grow old and beautiful by my side?
Would you love and appreciate me for me?
Would you help me be all that I can be?
Would you come with me when I die?
We'd both be angels flying high.
Copyright ©
anangel_1593
... [
2005-09-28 17:52:23] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Would You?
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 06:03:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I actually really like this.
It's simple, but it all works really well.. I'm not a huge fan of repetitition unless it is done well, and I really do like this.
I do have one suggestion though, try to capitaliza all of your I's, because you have only done a few of them and left the rest lowercase.
Good poem.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Would You?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lollypopxcore on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 06:08:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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AMAZING.
I loved it.
very well written.
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Re: Would You?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Darkhorse71 on
Friday, 30th September 2005 @ 02:11:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You're on your way to a long and productive career if you keep this up!!! I really liked this a lot and hope to see many more from you.
peace and hugs, john |
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Re: Would You?
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 04:03:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Thjis is a beautifull, inspiring write.
huggs,
emy |
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