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Can You?
Contributed by
reecy
on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 08:28:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Can you hear the whisper?
Can you see the stare?
Can you smell the lonliness?
And sense the symptoms of dispair
Can you feel the coldness?
Or the fact that no ones there,
Can you tell what is missing?
And do you who’s there
Or are you in a dream, dreaming
Of the time
When happiness was yours, and sorrow was all mine?
Copyright ©
reecy
... [
2005-09-28 08:28:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Can You?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 08:57:24 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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"You and me
we're not the same
I have bad luck
you have fame;
tote that bar
lift that bail
and do not stop or you'll land in jail"
Quote from "Old man river"
That is what your poem reminds me of. |
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Re: Can You?
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Wednesday, 28th September 2005 @ 12:17:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great! It's inquisitive theme really makes the reader look into themselves to reflect the power of the poem. I like it a lot and hope to see more!
keep up the excellent writing!
dw |
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Re: Can You?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 11:53:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Lauren a powerful write you have here . I like the way you've brought this across to your reader. A very well written poem. Keep penning girl.
*hugs*
Sue |
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