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stolen youth

Contributed by expired_promises on Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 11:38:16 PM in AEST
Topic: Haiku

Sun squeezes in
past the screen a child smiles
yet darkness comes

Copyright © expired_promises ... [ 2005-09-27 23:38:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: stolen youth (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 11:05:45 PM AEST
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That is so true....
just an observation.... your 'haiku' doesnt have the correct about of stresses.. 5-7-5..

compare this..

Sun squeezes in (4)
past the screen a child smiles (6)
yet darkness comes(4)

The sun squeezes in (5)
Past the screen a small child smiles (7)
Yet, the darkness comes. (5)

Jenni

Re: stolen youth (User Rating: 1 )
by STECKS on Wednesday, 14th December 2005 @ 11:07:58 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It speaks truth but i agree with Jenni_K.

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