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stolen youth
Contributed by
expired_promises
on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 11:38:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
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Sun squeezes in
past the screen a child smiles
yet darkness comes
Copyright ©
expired_promises
... [
2005-09-27 23:38:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: stolen youth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 11:05:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That is so true....
just an observation.... your 'haiku' doesnt have the correct about of stresses.. 5-7-5..
compare this..
Sun squeezes in (4)
past the screen a child smiles (6)
yet darkness comes(4)
The sun squeezes in (5)
Past the screen a small child smiles (7)
Yet, the darkness comes. (5)
Jenni |
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Re: stolen youth
(User Rating: 1 ) by STECKS on
Wednesday, 14th December 2005 @ 11:07:58 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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It speaks truth but i agree with Jenni_K. |
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